I'm told it's androgenic
And not so photogenic
And baldness isn't rare
But, I'd look fit as fiddle
I could part it down the middle
If I only had some hair.

I'd be brushin', I'd be combin'
The locks upon my dome'n
With coiffitude so fair
With my mop resurrectin'
And my scalp not so reflectin'
If I only had some hair

Oh, I could spike it high
With products from the store
And a mullet like you've never seen before
But a skullett's all I manage anymore

I would shampoo and condition
With Style and exhibition
And customary care
I would say "please ta meetcha"
I am cured of Alopecia
If I only had some hair.