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Song Parodies -> "Maxing Taxes and Fines and Fees"

Original Song Title:

"Taxi, Taxi 6-9-6-3"

Original Performer:

Piano Red (William Lee Perryman)

Parody Song Title:

"Maxing Taxes and Fines and Fees"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

The battle for the 2012 U.S. budget began with a clear partisan schism betwwen policies for cutting spending on "entitlement programs" or raising taxes, especially on high earners and estates ("the rich"). Below I try to anticipate what President Obama will sing to supporters at his next campaign fund-raising appearance or celebrity performance at the White House. I list TOS lyrics first, transcribed from my CD "Diggin' The Boogie 1950-1956", because I could not find them on the Internet. [Spoken]
If you need a taxi, call 6-9-6-3.
Well, I know you'll get good service, baby,
Because that number belongs to me.

If you're in a hurry, don't know what to do,
Call my number, baby; I'll be right out for you.
I'll get you where you want to be.
Taxi, taxi 6-9-6-3.

There's cabbies in ev'ry city.
There's cabbies in ev'ry town.
All those fellas are just like me;
They knows their way aroun'.
But if in my city you happen to be,
It's taxi, taxi 6-9-6-3.

Let's hear it, taxi; let's talk about it, taxi.
Lady, do you want a taxi? I'm drivin' a taxi.
So if in this city you happen to be,
Taxi, taxi 6-9-6-3.

[Yeah, rock with me, man; talk about that taxi cab.]
(Musical Interlude)
[Wait, fellas, wait. Yeah!]

Now don't get yourself all worried,
Don't get yourself all in a stew.
Just call my number, baby; I'll be right out for you.
Pay what the meter reads when its flag is down.
My taxi cab will surely be 'roun'.

Let's get a taxi. Whoa! I wants a taxi.
Taxi, taxi, taxi, let's talk about taxi.
Don't forget when you call for me.
Taxi, taxi 6-9-6-3.

[Yeah! Get with me. Let's rock!]


Rich few feed new taxes; all are fine with me.
Internal Revenue Service agents
See flaws when numbers seem wrong, due fee.

Ryan's in a hurry, won't grow spending blue,
All his numbers say, "Senile? Gee, lights-out for you."
I'll let you live full century,
Waxed by taxes and fines and fees.

There's taxes in ev'ry city.
There's taxes in ev'ry state.
Most tax filers are trusting me
To slow their pay's tax rate.
But if sinful richie you happen to be,
I'll max your taxes and fines and fees.

Let's fear flat-tax pleas; let's talk about VAT tax, please.
Boehner, do you want a tax freeze? I'm drivin' a tax seize.
So if sinful richie you happen to be,
Fax your taxes (they're mine) to me.

[Yeah, walk with me, man; talk about untaxed e-gab.]
(Musical Interlude)
[Wait, fellas, wait. Yeah!]

Now Republicans are worried,
Won't get a windfall when I'm through.
Trust all my numbers-trading; I'll see fight out for you.
Say, what tax cheater pleads when we drag him down,
"My tax software will guilty be foun'."?

Let's get a tax tree. Whoa! I want naught tax-free.
Tax he, tax she, tax tea; let's balk about "tax me."
Won't regret when economy
Lacks jobs, backs up in lines that freeze.

[Yeah! Get with me. Let's rock!]

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

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User Comments

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BJM - April 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Anyone who heard this song on the radio also dialed phone #s like CA6963.
My thanks go to a brother-in-law who sent me that CD last Christmas.
Old Man Ribber - April 18, 2011 - Report this comment
BJM - Nice job! It's all here...the unprecedented demagoguery (what ever happened to "The New Civility"?), the tax-cheat Secretary of the Treasury, the demonization of Ryan with no other plan offered, etc. Sadly, we're in for another four years. ;D
BJM - April 18, 2011 - Report this comment
OMR:You "got it" so well, even though I omitted footnotes. "Extreme" Schumer, Reid and Pelosi are apoplectic, even though Ryan's plan affects no Senior until 2021, so late Boomers get advance notice and have time to prepare for a later retirement with a medical insurance premium supplement.

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