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Song Parodies -> "The Curse of Steve Bartman (Theme from the 2003 Chicago Cubbies)"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad of Jed Clampett (Theme from the Beverly Hillbillies)"

Original Performer:

Paul Henning

Parody Song Title:

"The Curse of Steve Bartman (Theme from the 2003 Chicago Cubbies)"

Parody Written by:

Robert J. Pagliaro

The Lyrics

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Steve
Cub follow-eer rarely struck by pennant feve
And then one day with the Series oh so near
This fan reached out just to grab a souvenir

Ball, that is. Hand sewn. Costa Rican Made.

Well the next thing you know OI' Steve was doused with beer
Cubs fans said, "Steve's life must end right here"
Said "Joe Robbie is the place you oughtta be"
Then they rushed him out the backdoor with protective cus-to-dy.

New life, that is. Changin' schools, moving vans

Well the Cubs lost the series, their season was no more
And as for Steve the traitor, well we're not really sure
Lotsa fans dejected, but it's just their des-ti-ny
'Cause Chicago makes the series just once a cen-tu-ry

Cubs, that is. Leon Durham, Gatorade.

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Steve the new Marlin
The team would like to thank this guy for helpin' them to win
Their MVP who's guaranteed to be in Cubbie his-to-ry
Above the cat and Billy Goat - "The Jinx's of Wrig-ley"

Curses that is. Set a spell. Take your earphones off. Don't come back now, y'hear?

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   11

User Comments

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s m gee rocks 541 - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Joe Robbie? I know the marlins used to play there, now I think it's Pro Player Stadium where they currently play.
Adagio - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked that song, esp. now that I know what has been going on.. :D
Jonathan C. - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Get parody Bob, but Alex Gonzales is the real goat.
John Jenkins - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent parody. All of the spectators sitting around Steve - presumably Cub fans, as well - also grabbed for the ball. He just happened to be the one who touched it.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks all. s m gee rocks 541: The former Joe Robbie Stadium was renamed (and funded by) Pro Player (of Fruit of the Loom fame) in 1996. I thought about using the current name but opted for the original - I'm not much on the stadium sponsorships. bob
Claude Prez - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Great stuff. I wanted them to win, if only to get this poor schmuck off the hook.
s m gee rocks 541 - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Oh well. I was not aware of that. For some reason I thought they were two separate places.
Guy DiRito - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Great song Bob. Slight pacing problem near the end. 4+5+5. I really like to see this song parodied. I did one on the Hill Billies when I first started writing out here. You have some really great lines and the story is timely. Nice. I still think it's the goat that did them in, or at least the psychology of it all.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks again all. Guy, you're right - the song wrote itself during a quick dog walk last night. The last two lines sucked in pacing but I liked the idea and couldn't (or wouldn't) write around it. \ Original was: "he's guaranteed to get some space in Cubbie history along with cats and Billy Goats as Jinx's of Wrigley" Slightly better. BTW, is Adagio Mrs. Guy?
Guy DiRito - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
No she is not. She's an old internet buddy of mine. Actually she is my number 1 internet buddy.

Hey who spilled all that water up there in NYC today? And that was so tragic about that ferry. I was on that ferry when I was a kid visiting relatives on Long Island. What do I remember most about it? An Ice cream vendor yelling 'I scream, you scream, we all scream for Ice scream." I was about seven at the time. Strange what we remember.
Adagio - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Old?? :D Why don't you all go vote for our two entries today? I'd appreciate it.
Guy DiRito - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Adagio, Anything over two years on the internet is considered ancient. :D <-- Cheesy emoticon.
Adagio - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Ok, ok. :D.....cheesy in return
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
The pictures were unbelievable - very tragic - at least 10 dead? Many with severed limbs? Wow and the stories in the Daily News about those who just missed the Ferry - even makes this agnostic wonder. The SI Ferry is the cheapest date in New York - free rid - lived here almost as long as Guy has been on Earth and i've never been on it. Adagio, I haven't but I will check out your tunes and vote - got the game on and because you collaborate with Guy, I want to devote my undivided attention. BTW, women are like a fine wine, cheaper young but better, more expensive, more palatable, and memorable with age. He isn't trying to convert you to Fascism, is he?
Guy DiRito - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
How 'bout those Yanks, Bob? Congrats to NYC. I still can't believe what happened to those Cubs though. So Wildman, Diva and Royce should be rooting for the Marlins and I suspect you, the Florios, and Mike P. will be rooting for the Yanks. Too bad the Cubs are out. They had the most to write parodies about.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, those guys may be rooting for the Yanks, but as a Met fan and long-time Yankee hater, Go Marlins. I wanted a Cubs/Sox series. I think there could be a Red Sox curse parody sometime this weekend. Hey Guy, I'll be sure to write one up about your friend - the God Loving General - I'm thinking it should be to the Tom Paxton tune, "My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog" - "My God's Better Than Your God." What do you think?
Guy DiRito - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Somehow I figured you were a Mets fan. You lost me. Who's the 'God Loving General'? Yeah, that my God bigger thing could really point out that religion is not what we should pay attention to so much. One's comfort with one's own diety should be on a personal basis and ritual and religious ideals often cloud these issues.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Guy, don't go turning liberal on me now. Lt. General William Boykin - he had some interesting things to say such as: W "is in the White House because God put him there"; referred to a Muslim fighter who boasted that Allah would protect him, but "I know that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol." Jesus! (pun intended)
Guy DiRito - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Bob - No chance of me going liberal. My belief system in God is based on a personal relationship and I never did like organized religion. I am not even a member of the church I attend for that reason. I believe that God gave us all free will because that is the way He wants it. I do not use His name in vain and as others seem to think out here I do not believe that God needs me or anyone to protect Him from attacks on His Person. He gave us His Word and the gift of prophesy. This is how I know He is real. I believe that He wants His followers to tell others of His Son but with the realization that this is all any follower can do and that is plant the seeds and He will do the rest. He wants the choice to be yours.

Somehow I missed all this stuff on LTG Boykin. Is this guy still active duty or is he retired? Doesn't sound like something an active general officer would say. They usually wait for retirement before being so outspoken.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
The NY Daily News states that he was in uniform - not sure if that means he's still active or not. I took it that he was. The story says he frequently expresses in uniform his evangelical Christian views at prayer breakfasts and church meetings. There's probably better coverage of this out there - just haven't had time to seek it out. Hey, this agnostic feels whatever gets you through your life is fine - I just find a danger in separation clause violations.
Guy DiRito - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
I just got an update on this on Fox News channel. Boykin will make a statement in about an hour. Rumsfeld says he found nothing wrong with what he said. Gen John Meyers Chairman Joint Chiefs of Staff sounds like he may be taking a second look at what is and is not appropriate for an active duty military officer to be saying. I just know that active duty generals usually have no expressed opinion on anything political. I think this guy is going to be cannon fodder and I am now thinking what I can say in a paroditic art form toward this controversy myself. You should go with the 'My God is Bigger' idea. I'd be real careful on how you tread with this one though.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Guy, if I have to be careful, it's not worth doing. (I'll have something for Monday provided I drink enough beer to get in the creative mood). I just thought this story was interesting to relay to you because we had a recent dialogue about freedom of speech while serving in the military.
Stockton - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Funny parody. It would've been cool if the Cubs advanced. I hate those damn Yankees. They're getting old. And boston would've been cool, too. And, just to add humor, it seems there's always an excuse for a bad team (i.e. a curse) besides crappy playing.
Static - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
they interviewed steve on sportscenter. tired of his story, i got on the computer and wrote two songs. much better.
Guy DiRito - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Robert - I remember the dialog. I would love to do one on that general as you mentioned. I would have to, had I thought of it first. But I did get another one that will be out tomorrow. I did one on what a Hindu would think of all this religious bickering out here. Promises to be funny, I think.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Static: post the links - I'll look for them if they're on this site - hey, I hope they are better - didn't think this was one of my best and I'm always interested in great humor, so frankly, I hope yours are better. Hey Guy, then do it on the General. I understand what you mean about the first idea thing, but had you seen the story before hearing it from me, you'd write it, wouldn't you? So do it man. As soon as I read about the General the first thing that came to my mind was "My dog's bigger/better . . ." - I thought it was an Oscar Meyer tune or some other commercial - had no idea it was a Paxton writing/recording - then I couldn't drop it. Look forward to the Hindu piece - I'm sure it will be funny. On another note, Guy, if you've never heard Bill Cosby's '60s routine "Noah" - I highly recommend it. Right! bob
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
For what it's worth to old guys like Guy (and me), it was a "Ken-L Ration" commercial - remembered this while out walking the dog a few minutes ago - ". . . my dog's better 'cause he eats Ken-L Ration, my dog's better than yours."
Guy DiRito - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
I remember both Bill Cosby's Noah and the Ken-L-Ration commercial. I think I'm going to pass on the 'My Dog's Bigger' thing though. I wrote four parodies for tomorrow to include American Pie. I'm burned out.
Mikey F - October 19, 2003 - Report this comment
this was perfect! 5/5/5
Loosekanen (The Armstrong) - October 21, 2003 - Report this comment
Tim Molchany - October 22, 2003 - Report this comment
Bob - get over the Mets already.
Johnny D - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Robert, you have created a masterpiece here! Brings a smile to this ol' Red Sox fan's face. 5's
Wild Man - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
555 Chalupas and a case of beer!
... aka Ellipsis - November 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Good one! Five-five-five.
Suzie Cream Cheese - December 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Ditto on the above three commenters (and a few others too).
Tim Hall - February 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Now I know how Bill Buckner feels
Baby Ben - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I have no idea what this song is about but I still voted for it.

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