Come and listen to my story about a man named Pat
His friendship with Jesus made his wallet really fat
And then one day while preaching on the set
The Creator told Pat "Run for Pres-i-dent"
God, that is. The Big Guy. Al-mighty.

Well the next thing you know ol' Pat picked up the sword
Church Folk said, "Pat, win it for the Lord"
Said prayer in school, but abortion must not be
Then they blamed it on the lib-rals and sex-ual odd-i-ties.
Gays, that is. Athiests. Leftwing commies.

Well Pat lost the 'lection, good morals were no more
And now the Christian Coalition had to close its doors
Lots of folks dejected, many saying "God, why me?"
But according to the Lord, it wasn't meant to be
Christ, that is. God's son. J.C.

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Pat and all his kin
Who taught us that abortion and gay life is a sin
They'd like to convert you all someday to Chris-ti-an-ity
And donate all your money to their min-is-try.
Offerings, that is. Green backs. Large bills.
Y'all come back now, hear!