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Song Parodies -> "Cannibal Girl"

Original Song Title:

"Calendar Girl"

Original Performer:

Neil Sedaka

Parody Song Title:

"Cannibal Girl"

Parody Written by:

PMS (aka) Connie-bal Girl

The Lyrics

I had such a glut of foods containing people references that I had to serve up another heaping helping. A work associate of mine, whose name really IS Connie, contributed many spicy morsels and made the what I call "The Private Collection" verse possible.
I love, I love being a cannibal girl,
"Consume"-et cannibal girl.
I love, I love being a cannibal girl,
I prey each day of the year.

These dietary pref'rences of mine
Serve to make me very much inclined,
To discover unique ways "To Serve Man."
Read the papers and you'll understand
With swine and bird flu loose in the world
I think it's a good thing that I'm a cannibal girl
Of Mad Cow, I need now have no fear.

Gonna "Russell" up a pot of Stu
Add Rosemary and her baby too.
If something from the "Barbie"'s what you crave
Hows about a Shish-ka-Bob, or Dave?.
A nice ground Chuck or Kevin or Earl?
Oh how, oh how, I love being a cannibal girl.
Live on ou-tre gourmet's new frontier.

I love, I love being a cannibal girl,
"Consume"-"et" cannibal girl.
I love, I love being a cannibal girl,
Fresh entrees slain each day with a spear.

Folks who know of my proclivity
An Oscar May'r wiener would not wish to be.
Frankly Spotted Dick just can't be beat,
Howard's Johnson is all I care to eat.
More nuts have I consumed than a squirrel.
Since sweet meats are the favored food of cannibal girls.
Tenderloin ala groin has no peer.

Dolly Madison I'd gladly eat
Little Debbies oh so soft and sweet.
Got a killer Brownie recipe.
Ain' no one doesn't like Sara Lee.
I love the way it makes some folks hurl
When l say Girl Scout cookies should contain real girls
I'll dwell in hell a long spell I fear.

For now I love being a cannibal girl,
"Consume"-"et" cannibal girl.
I love, I love being a cannibal girl,
For piece prey I each day of the year.

"To Serve Man" refers to an episode of a show called "The Twilight Zone"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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John Barry - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Each day of the year you eat an ear. Hilarious and great wordplay.
carol - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
yummy! pass the steak sauce. 5's
Dee Range - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
"Howard's Johnson is all I care to eat" and "Tenderloin ala groin has no peer" are two of the funniest lines I've seen recently. Spectacular high 5's. How about trying "STUCK IN THIS KETTLE OF STEW" STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU? It would be an interesting twist....cannibals eating you this time!
Michael Pacholek - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Mmmm, you're cookin', baby!
AFW - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice a-dishin' to your collection..5's
Tommy Turtle - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
!!!!! TMGLTM! Not only enough material for a sequel, but you've outdone yourself... I remember that TwiZone, thought of it many times.... "prey" 'Outre gourmet" "each day with a spear" (great switch paralellingOS lyrics and phonetics), "HoJo", as Dee said .... and most of all, I once knew someone (Biblically) who referred to her privates as "Sara Lee" (Men always have a nick for theirs, right?). Her motto was, "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee", and lemme tell ya, the lady was right.... I used to be a Cub Scout, but I was kicked out for eating Brownies. Eat this Five, and this Five, and this Five (centimeters, of course). ;) :) ;)
Larry Hensley - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Very funny parody
alvin rhodes - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
one of your best
PMS - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks JB carol, Dee I think you have a great idea there, next ime I'm hungering to do another cannibal song I think I'll dish up something along those very lines. Thanks! Michael you gave me a new idea on "Someone's in the Kitchen With Dinah" TT thanks for shelling out the comments! IThe "Outre gourmet" line would have been better had it begun with "savor" Didn't think of it until after I posted. Thank you too to Larry and alvin

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