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Song Parodies -> "Mercury Stubborn"

Original Song Title:

"Iowa Stubborn"

Original Performer:

Music Man

Parody Song Title:

"Mercury Stubborn"

Parody Written by:

Stockton

The Lyrics

Last Wednesday (1/7/04 if this get ancient), a Nevada middle schooler from Pa-Wa-Lu brought a vile of mercury to his school. And I should tell you the dialougues in this are true. Not the quotes, the actions. Anyway, the kid is facing jailtime, because he knew the mercury was toxic. Here's to you, pal!
Ooooh,
There's nothing halfway about the middle school of Pa-Wa-Lu
No one has knew, 'till this one day on the news
There's a kids at the school, your average go to the school with homework
And he also brought some weird metalic goo

It can be found in the local thermometer in the garden
Now they'll pardon him for trying to be cool
And it's a toxic element he brought for the hell of it
And after the day, he'll be a giant fool

But what the heck, you're welcome from a Douglas student
You just sent your schoolmates to the local looney bin
Next time you shouldn't bring mercury to school
Amd then you'll be in juvie hall

STUDENT: Hey, whatcha' got?
MERCURY KID: Just some mercury.
STUDENT: Can I cap my tooth with it? Gotta have the bling bling!

MERCURY KID: Close your eyes and hold ut your hands, teacher.
TEACHER: Okay. (splat) What is it?
MERCURY KID: Mercury!
TEACHER: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

You can go down to the court and you visit the jail attendence
With a sentence ranging twenty years to life
You're just so by-God crazy even just before putting it
In ev'ryone's hands, dude, somebody could've died

So they'll put you in jail
'Cause you knew it was toxic
Just don't look Bubba in the eye

But what the heck, you moron, school's contaminated
Now, I'm really happy no one that I knew was there
Remember not to bring mercury, no more mercury
Or blades, or guns, helium, PS2s
Sodium, razors, drugs, X-rays
Never bring mercury to schooooooool

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Stray Pooch - January 11, 2004 - Report this comment
This is a copycat crime, i guess, because they did the same thing in Washington DC about two months ago. In this case it was a vial of mercury that was stolen from the school lab and it created havoc! Nice song selection, this. Way back in my college days I did Jacey Squires in Music Man. Now, for the $64,000.00 question: What song from "Music Man" did the Beatles record? (Only kidding about the 64K!)
Stockton - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, pooch, here's some facts. He didn't steel it from a school lab. I'm quite sure it was in his backyard, for some odd reason. He never meant to wreck havoc, he was just showing off. But if you read this in the paper, then boy did I screw up. Nice to know you were in the quartette. And just for the heck of it, my answer is "Till There Was You." That or "Lida Rose." Those are the only two that come to mind.
Amanda Gilroy - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I was at that school when the mercury spill happend. This parody is totally true about how frickin stupid that kid was.

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