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Song Parodies -> "Big Iron (In Her Grip)"

Original Song Title:

"Big Iron (On His Hip)"

Original Performer:

Marty Robbins

Parody Song Title:

"Big Iron (In Her Grip)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A couple of parodies by AFW of Marty Robbins' epic ballad "El Paso" brought me back to the time when I was a kid and my dad would play that very album over and over on the Hi-Fi. Seeing as how I'm just an amateur parodist and not quite up to the task of doing "El Paso" just yet, I though I would baby step my way by doing "Big Iron (on his hip)" from the same album. In the OS, Big Iron referred to a Colt .45. See if you can guess what it refers to here :-D
To a town west of Orlando came a ruckus one fine day
It involved a famous golfer; at first that's all they'd say
No one thought to ask the reason that he made his frenzied trip
That he was fleeing from the wifey with the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

It was early in the morning when he crashed into the tree
There was something didn't add up; that was plain to see
Soon the rumors started circling that the cause of his fat lip
Was the vengeance seeking wifey with the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

At the center of the story was a man named Tiger Woods
Many years had he been stalwart; role model for the good
But he turned a cheat and liar; was amoral to the core
And the harlots that he bedded numbered one and nineteen more
One and nineteen more

Now the tongues they started wagging and it got back to the wife
And as you can imagine, no end to marriage strife
"I'll forget about these twenty but heed my words" she said
If I hear about another, I'll be swinging for your head
Swinging for your head

She had caught him in the two time and he vowed he'd do no more
Then she heard about a new one and she said "This one means war"
Twenty skanks he did admit to, twenty skanks she did permit
Twenty one would spark the swinging of the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

It was shortly after midnight when the sh*t did hit the fan
And the upshot of this dust up is still known throughout the land
Every married man acknowledged with a voice so full of dread
This dumb bastard sure is lucky that he didn't wind up dead
Didn't wind up dead

The neighbors still are dumbstruck cause she was the perfect wife
But then one last betrayal sent him fleeing for his life
Oh it was an idyllic marriage till one story made her flip
And she went to stalk the Tiger with the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

His career went in a tailspin and his game did not rebound
And the wifey got the mansion and burned it to the ground
Oh he tried to play the whole field but he made one fatal slip
When he double crossed the wifey with the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

Big iron .. big iron
When he double crossed the wifey with the big iron in her grip

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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Randy Hearn - June 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Cool rendition of a good old song. Don't forget Mr. Shorty too!
AFW - June 19, 2012 - Report this comment
This is really good, lennie...Great spoofing of a well known reason why you couldn't parody "El Paso"..the way you've mastered this..definitely, you've hit the target.. and scored a hole in one.
Callmelennie - June 19, 2012 - Report this comment
So, who's this "Calmelennie" dude anyway? Kid's got some talent if you ask m- (Sigh) .. about twice a year my dsylexai atcs up and I msipel my onw nmae (llo) Which means I will have to resub the thing again so it finds its way into my index. And thank you, AFW. Maybe I will give El Paso a whirl ;-D

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