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Song Parodies -> "Diamonds From My New Best Friend"

Original Song Title:

"Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend"

Parody Song Title:

"Diamonds From My New Best Friend"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

This parody is a 'tribute' to Naomi Campbell and her spectacular indifference to her involvement with war criminal Charles Taylor. Obviously I'm not poking fun at the trial, since that's a serious business, but I couldn't let her vacuous behaviour there go un-pointed out. So here we go.....
I met Charles Taylor at a do
Hosted by Nelson Mandela
He seemed alright, I never knew
He wasn’t a nice fella

It’s not underhand, it’s just co-incidental
Some diamonds from my new best friend!
Must I take the stand, ‘cos it’s driving me mental
I’m a busy girl
Got nails to paint and hair to curl

Gosh, wow, oh
I didn’t know
That his whole nice-guy act was pretend
It was so informal
My idea of normal
Diamonds from my new best friend!

(Now there's a talky bit... don't ask me why, but it's in the original, so...)

Dinner date!
I was there!
Caviar!
Just gorgeous!
Thank you, Nelson Mandela
What a fab shindig!

(okay, talky bit over now)

Then later that night two big men came to see me
With diamonds from my new best friend
They woke me right up but I didn’t get all screamy
I just smiled and said
“That’s cool” and then went back to bed

Rich moguls,
War criminals
Look the same way to me in the end
Though these stones were stubby
And looked kind of grubby
Diamonds – huh! Some new best friend!

Now I’m at The Hague in the depths of December
For diamonds from that old best friend
I’m not being vague I just can’t quite remember
Is that such a crime?
‘Cos I get presents all the time

On a whim
I Googled him,
Found he did things I just can’t defend
I must watch my back now
‘cos I’ll cop some flak now

Diamonds! Diamonds!
They’re bloody diamonds!
Those diamonds, from my EX-best friend!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - February 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Wendy - Clever, intelligent, and...dare I say?...brilliant! Perhaps that's why the accursed things are called "blood" diamonds! You certainly know what's going on, and have a most witty and skillful way of saying it. ;D
WarrenB - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm with OMR on this one. Very well done. A very thoughtful skewering.

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