Just look at my trees
Oh what a mess, oh darnit
I can't do this myself, I need some as-sis-tance
Lost a ball last week and now I can't find it at all, oh bugger
Won't someone help me, I just need a Ga-ar-den-eeer

Let's check the Ye-llow Paa-ges. . .

Can't find my goddamn pinking shears
I lent them to Yu~ki
And as for my poor rhubarb
It has been choked up, and
I need some Miracle Grow
To help my sunflowers see light again. . .
Oh where the hell is my carrot patch?

Ga-ar-dener, where are you?
My poison ivy's out of hand
And I can't find the hoe or shoo-veeeel. . .
Oh, Gardener, I need you
I also need a manicure
I need to mow the lawn or I'll just lose my mind. . .

Can't find the can of ant poison
I gave that to Kozi
As for those bulbs I had planted
They've got no chance to live
Can't get a decent gardener
To weed my garden or cut my lawn. . .
I guess I'll have to give Mana a call. . .

((REPEAT CHORUS))