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Song Parodies -> "Mergerwocky"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Lewis Carroll

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio

The Lyrics

This tale invokes an earlier period of health-care budget constraints (the mid 1990s). Manoeuvers employed by hospitals included redefinition of jobs, cancellation of services, ward closures, and even ventures into the non-health sector e.g. energy-from-waste technology. In Canada, provincial governments capped physicians’ total billings, delisted previously insured procedures and mandated employee leaves (named after Ontario’s Premier Rae). The largest legacy has been left by forced mergers of paired rival hospitals, who often initially had different skill-sets and academic pretensions. The original is a poem, but there are already 18 spoofs of it on this site!
“Restructure!”; so the i.v. teams
Did energize recycled waste;
De-focused were the laser beams,
And the closed wards outplaced.

“Beware the Mergertalks, my son!
St. Joe’s won’t bite Health Council lunch!
Beware the Job-Job bird, and shun
The clawbacking Budgetcrunch !”

He shook his VPs’ golden hands:
Time-line pro-actively he maps –
Then spreadshot he by the Lap-Top key,
And graphed the Full-Times’ caps.

And as in upsized thought stood he,
The Mergerwock, with errored claims,
Came sniffling through the OPD,
De-listing as it came.
Old site! New site! And deep in debt
The shuttle-bus reshuffle-floored.
“Let’s integrate, new Mission state!”
He e-mailed to the Board.

“And hast thou done the Merger-deal?”
A mix of cheers, and groans and snarls –
“Come to Grand Rounds, my deanish boys,
At the Princess Di and Charles.”

‘Twas Wednesday; at the clubhouse bar
Did gripe the Rae-dayed docs anew,
“Our Conjoint Foursomes shoot near par,
But the Brass still play through!”
If you really want Jabberwocky and its parodies to be sung, contact Major General Stanley, and have him add an extra 2 syllables to the last line of each verse, e.g. “Our Conjoint Foursomes shoot near par, but the Brass still play, still play through!”

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Lifeliver - March 08, 2013 - Report this comment
I'm not au fait with US medical politics, but I know this is a difficult source to tackle and it's been very closely and cleverly subbed, worth 555s for technical virtuosity alone
Old Man Ribber - March 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Don Giorgio - No small undertaking here! Fine job. Are these events coming soon to a country near you? ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - March 11, 2013 - Report this comment
As one of those 18 previous Lewis Carroll parodists, I commend your content but note a few lines that have one more or one fewer syllable than Jabberwocky's.
GC - March 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for the positive comments. Those errant syllables likely resulted from "upsized thought" and "Budgetcrunch"
Giorgio Coniglio - June 02, 2014 - Report this comment
An addendum: With minor modification of the lyrics, this poem can be rendered singable to "House of the Rising Sun", as demonstrated on my blog . There is also the Donovan version of the original "Jabberwocky" lyrics, searchable on You-Tube.
Phil Alexander - June 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Excellent - don't really know the back story, but it doesn't really matter. Extremely good use of the original & neologisms like "budgetcrunch" work perfectly :-)

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