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Song Parodies -> "The Bigger the Swigger"

Original Song Title:

"The Bigger the N-gger"

Original Performer:

Kids Nursery Rhymes (Racist)

Parody Song Title:

"The Bigger the Swigger"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

When I was young I heard a racist nursery rhyme that originates from the Klan (supposedly). This was around the time of the Daniel Boone racist version of that song. I only know the first two set of lines. I am using this as unconventional material and turning it into something else non-offensive.
The bigger the swigger,
The slower the draw
But if you cock back your head
Gulp!
Gulp!
Gulp!
You'll fill your belly instead,
In no time you'll drink it up- all!

The bigger the swigger,
The slower to get full
But if you use a straw instead
Suck!
Suck!
Suck!
You'll soon empty the full can,
And still have five more to go!
I can furnish the OS if requested in the comments section. Remember, this was the 1970s. A neighbor nearby subscribed to the Thunderbolt Klan news rag of the NSRP. Probably his kids who started that rhyme in our area.

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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - June 19, 2017 - Report this comment
Note: usually, a swig is defined as a large single gulp of a beverage from a container. But it can also be small gulps too. In the '70s with the 16oz Coke or Pepsi (RC or Double Cola) bottles and cans, the kid gulps we're usually small and often led to backwash!!!
Mr. Arndt's Neighborhood - June 19, 2017 - Report this comment
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A terrible day for a n*gger.
Would he be mine?
Could I lynch him?...

It's a KKK day for my pal next door,
White Supremacy day, catch a n*gger.
May I pinch him?
Could I lynch him?...

I've always wanted a racist neighbor just like you.
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So, let's get the dogs out this beautiful day.
Me and Bull Connor, we might as well say:
Just do one thing,
Come on and swing
Won't you be my n*gger?
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my n*gger?
Bigger Thomas - June 19, 2017 - Report this comment
Please furnish the OS as you offered. Btw, the 70s was a decade after the Civil Rights movement and legislation. In most places, the KKK wouldn't be visible anymore.
Rob Arndt - June 19, 2017 - Report this comment
To the above: no, I distinctly remember the Klan in the news in the 1970s and even in California there was distribution of their paper from the National States Rights Party. It was called The Thunderbolt. That alone proves you wrong. As for the racist nursery rhyme here it is:

The bigger the N*gger
The harder they fall
But if you whack them in the head
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!
They sure as hell fall dead
Then there ain't any at all

The bigger the N*gger
The harder they fall
But if you shoot them in the head
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
They sure as hell fall dead
Then there ain't any at all

Next 3rd line would make a new substitute like stab them in the head and so forth with accompanying sounds with exclamation marks!
Bigger Thomas - June 20, 2017 - Report this comment
I have done some research leading to a May 1970 F.B.I. monograph from which I excerpted: "The NSRP has chapters or is active in the followlng states: Florida, North Carolina, Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Missouri, Maryland, New Jersey, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and California."
The NSRP had minimal influence (approx. 150 members). Unfortunately, you were brought up in California in one of the very few overtly racist neighborhoods in the country.
Rob Arndt - June 20, 2017 - Report this comment
Again, no. Some white people moved into my area that were from the South and who expressed racist views. However, I never even seen a black person in our neighborhood until I was maybe 8 (1972). There are no black kids in my school photos until 3rd grade and I didn't have a black friend until 5th grade, the year my dad died. Back then white parents usually didn't allow interracial friendships. There was no such thing as embracing diversity. That's just the way it was.
Bigger Thomas - June 20, 2017 - Report this comment
I'm very sorry to read that you were brought up in a de facto segregated community. Historically, one of the main arguments against segregation was that it was psychologically almost as damaging to whites as it was to blacks. I am white (really!) and I am thankful that I was reared with racial and religious diversity, and continue to live that way. I can't imagine not having the comfort of the black friends that I have had for so long.
Anonymous - June 20, 2017 - Report this comment
https://youtu.be/97-UbvvWmqM

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