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Song Parodies -> "Battle Hymn Of The School Playground"

Original Song Title:

"Battle Hymn Of The Republic"

Original Performer:

Julia Ward Howe

Parody Song Title:

"Battle Hymn Of The School Playground"

Parody Written by:

Smeg And The Heads

The Lyrics

When I was in high school, many moons ago, the fourth verse below made the rounds in a different form. For some reason, it has stuck in my head for thirty-three years. Perhaps now that I've written the rest of it, it will go away. My son is in grade eight. Of all the short stories, song parodies, and sketches I've written, this is his favourite.
Oh, I’m the student who thought up the revolution plan
I told my friends and they all said they thought that it was grand
It spread throughout the school ‘til everyone had lent a hand
My cause was marching on!

(chorus)
Glory, glory, Hallelujah!
We will fight ‘til we subdue ya!
Don’t resist or we will shoot ya!
Our cause is marching on!

I talked to everyone and they all said that they would be
Fighters in the fight and also revolution’ries
They all got down and swore an oath upon their bended knees
My cause was marching on!

(repeat chorus)

We planted spies around the school and they all served us well
They said the time to strike would be the ringing of the bell
And we all knew that with the bell would come infernal hell
My cause was marching on!

(repeat chorus)

We’re called the students who have seen the burning of the school
We killed off all the teachers and we broke the golden rule
We marched into the office and we shot the principal
My cause was marching on!

(repeat chorus)

Well, pretty soon we had control of everything around
I made a search just to ensure we had the schoo-ool grounds
We rounded up survivors and we fed them to the hounds
My cause was marching on!

(repeat chorus)

My revolution won the day, it didn’t take us long
So other schools across the world must surely follow on
And now we’re always talked about in history and song
My cause still marches on!

Glory, glory, Hallelujah!
We will fight ‘til we subdue ya!
Don’t resist or we will shoot ya!
Our cause still marches on!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
My cousin taught me a variant of this song in the early 1960's. I suspect it goes back further than that. Little did we know that someday school kids would actually march down the halls to shoot the principal.
LadyCupCakes - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
555 for all the young squires' (knights in training) hymn!
Gel - February 17, 2008 - Report this comment
This kind of reminds me of the shootings in Illinois.

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