Vaseline,
Lubricant, so keen
Balm that we'd apply
Before KY was seen

Vaseline,
Soft and smooth old friend
Oil derivative
A slick'ning dividend

Shine and sheen, came from Vaseline
With a rub, so right
Where space was tight between
Wedding nights would have been a chore
Trying times of chafe and get sore
If not for good old Vaseline.

Vaseline,
Thanking it, we are
Once, just like a comb,
In every home, a jar

Vaseline,
Praises long unsung
Moistened membrane goals
To anxious souls, it brung

Too long ignored it, Vaseline
We should build a shrine
The granite kind, I mean..
To display our deep gratitude
For the fun it helped us have nude
We owe a lot to Vaseline

Yes, we owe a lot to Vaseline