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Song Parodies -> "Stuka-Man"

Original Song Title:

"Spiderman TV Theme Song"

Original Performer:

Joey Scarbury

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

During his career, Hans Ulrich Rudel flew over 2530 missions (around 400 of his sorties were flown in a Fw-190 fighter plane during which he was credited with 11 air victories) and destroyed: 150+ various artillery pieces, 519 tanks, around 1000 various armored vehicles, 70 landing crafts, 2 Lavochkin La-3 fighters, one Ilyushin Il-2 Stormovik and sunk the Battleship "Marat", 2 Cruisers and a Destroyer. Rudel was responsible for such huge damages to the Red Army that Joseph Stalin himself put a price of 100,000 rubles on his head. He flew more than 600,000 km and used more than 5,000,000 liters of fuel. Rudel dropped 1000s of kg of bombs, fired over 1,000,000 machine gun rounds, over 150,000 20mm rounds and over 5,000 37mm rounds. Rudel thought that the Lend-Lease American tanks were easier to kill than the Soviet T-34s, but he hated their machine guns, because once he was shot down by one. He was shot-down 32 times and performed 9 rescues. Lost part of a leg in battle. Rudel was an outstanding pilot with experience, who loved to fly and destroy. He hated to take home leave or sick leave and even when he got his leg amputated in 1945, he was not depressed since he could still do what he loved - fly and destroy (even against the Fuhrer's orders). During his career, Hans Rudel showed remarkable power, toughness, fearlessness, unparalleled determination and arrogance- but none of his photos show any impact of the hardship of war on his face. His personal bravery was beyond belief and his place in the annals of military history thoroughly deserved, although it is important to remember the words of an American Protocol-Officer who absolutely, correctly named Rudel "the typical Nazi Officer". He was awarded the Knights Cross to the Iron Cross First Class with Golden Oakleaves, Swords, and Diamonds- the greatest and highest decoration in military history. Although he flew the Fw-190 first, he will always be remembered as the Stuka Man. Rommel once said that Rudel was equal to one entire division as far as destruction went!!!
Stuka-man, Stuka-man
Was a plague over Russian lands
He killed tanks, AFVs
Structure hits, artillery
Look out! For Rudel, the Stuka-man!

Nazi strong, he had guts!
The battleship Marat he had sunk!
Two cruisers and destroyer doomed
Landing craft were also through!
He dared, Hans Rudel, the Stuka-man!

In the heat of a fight,
BKs flashed, what a sight!
Direct hits lit-up bright
(Red) Armor crews filled with fright!

Stuka-man, Stuka-man
Most decorated Stuka-man
Danger game, 6-year war
He continued to up his score!

To him, that gull-wing was HIS airplane
And “Uncle Joe” hated HIS name
He was the Stuka-man!!!


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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - February 03, 2014 - Report this comment
Didn't he once run 50 miles naked in an arctic winter to escape the Russians? After the war, the one-legged Rudel emigrated to Argentina where he became an aviation adviser to Juan Peron, and a ski instructor! I read his autobiography when I was in high school. Later I would see George C Scott as Patton, echoing the warning to the west about the Soviet communists. If one could get past certain biases that would crop up, Rudel's story would make a great movie. Security code: 88V (MM?)
Susanna Viljanen - February 03, 2014 - Report this comment
Unfortunately, Rudel was also an unrepentant National Socialist to the end of his life. Another reason why you should never trust teetotalers - Hans-Ulrich Rudel, er trinkt nur Sprudel - was a common phrase amongst Stuka pilots. 555 for a neat and singable parody.
Rob Arndt - February 03, 2014 - Report this comment
I read "Stuka Pilot" in my teens and was amazed at Rudel's willpower and determination. He was shot down many times and behind enemy lines. I don't recall what escape you are talking about except maybe in March 1944 from North of Odessa all the way to Floresti? His Stuka got caught in the mud and could not take-off. Red fighters circled and Red troops were moving in. He and L.A.C. Henschel ran, Rudel carying a 6.5mm pistol... but soon they ran into water and had to swim in 3-4o above freezing! Rudel made it but Henschel drowned. Rudel approached unfamiliar soldiers and they were Reds who took his pistol. He made a break for it and they fired several rounds- 1 striking his shoulder. Rudel evaded and made a long trek that lacerated his feet badly. He reached Floresti with help from a Russian girl that spoke German. The Rumanians saw him looking ragged and almost shot him too until he took out his Iron Cross award from his pocket. He was evacuated by Ju-52 and spent time in a military hospital. In his book, Rudel tells of his belief in both National Socialism AND God!!! Would make a great movie! Thanks also Susanna- Rudel like Hartmann was also known as "The Devil" to the Reds. He wreaked havoc with his Stukas wherever he went and never feared superior aircraft.
Jonathan - February 03, 2014 - Report this comment
Robert D. Arndt: making education fun since 2011 5's

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