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Song Parodies -> "I am the Very Model of a Lauded Cager General"

Original Song Title:

"I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I am the Very Model of a Lauded Cager General"

Parody Written by:

Timmy1000

The Lyrics

For basketball (cager) fans, especially IU fans, here is former coach Knight who was dubbed as "The General", hence the Cager General.
I am the very model of a lauded cager General,
I’ve admiration, legend, fable, planning bull, but men are full,
I show the kids my rings and then, promote my fights hysterical,
I swear upon the chair I threw on court for B-Ball spherical

I’m living hell, but sainted too, my fans are sure fanatical,
I often planned persuasions with the refs who are too radical,
With clout I know I’ll screw with ‘em, I’m steaming as calls got obtuse,
With zany, fearful acting out, I swear it makes my lot produce

Chorus:
With training clear, relax, block out, beware the high post spot abuse,
With pain and jeer, attacks and doubt, his glare will a bad shot induce,
With strain severe, reacts with shout, he’ll stare if you forgot the deuce

I understood expendable and consequential play mistrust,
I crow, “Deny the passing lane or see while I portray disgust,”
In sport, the chatter, “so unstable and will maul and spin or pull,”
There is no merry coddle in a lauded cager General

Chorus:
On court, no flatter, he’s unable and will stall to win ‘er all,
He is the very model of a lauded cager General

Although my tactics, theory, no charges and stay on the block,
The passes hard across court are a bitter waste, eye on the clock,
Promote with yell the high picks and the times to seal the route across,
Gin tonics I abhor, pursue a rash of T’s without a loss

I can yell and pout at rotten calls on dirty fouls and hacking spree,
I know that choking players urges BLOGS of critics whacking me,
And I am scum to league, a bitch, absurd abuse has been a chore,
I bristle at affairs which are eternal pretense, mini-bore

Chorus:
Send missile, say your prayers you yellow journal writer, skinny whore,
Oh this’ll be like flares from the infernal offense, in a roar,
Dismissal, call their dares, no more paternal defense, win a war

Then, I incite a squashing skill, I dabble in profanity,
And quell the huffy Email with a smack of my own vanity,
On court, my spatters at the table, fan ‘em all, go win ‘er all,
I do not ever coddle as a lauded cager General

Chorus:
With snort, ref scatters, if he’s able, plan a brawl to win or fall,
He is the very model of a lauded cager General

With tact, when I grow as a gent, the clamor gone for travelin’
When I sit still each night with vows to stifle, quit unravellin’,
With touch and care, exhorting and advising with a fanny pat,
And when I show advice to refs, content with just a canny chat

When I have spurned the regress that should fade into a mystery,
Sincere rapport impacts the fan, I’ll have my place in history,
In short, when I stop scattering the refs on whom I spat a wee,
You’ll say a better cager General, you would to that agree

Chorus:
Convey trend setter cager General and softly pat a knee,
Display red sweater cager General and not combat a flea,
You’ll say a better cager General, use heavy flattery

As my silly, wary game edge is just lucky, not a lot of fun,
I’m lonely and I frown as I am winning, although not a ton,
But still in matters so unstable, planning brawl to win or fall,
I am the very model of a lauded cager General.

Chorus:
But still in matters so unstable, planning brawl to win or fall,
He is the very model of a lauded cager General.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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AFW - August 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Not into BB...but this sports trib, or anti-sports trib,(not sure which) tells it like it was, and reads extremely well...perfecto!
Leo Keough - August 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Incredible idea and execution!!!...555!!!
Fiddlegirl - August 27, 2009 - Report this comment
He's a piece of work, isn't he? And so is this-- nice one. I liked the "merry coddle" quip :D
Tommy Turtle - August 27, 2009 - Report this comment
What AFW said -- no turtle has ever made it into the NBA (Discrimination!) but executed excellently. Congrats on mastering the Major! (great matching title, too)
Timmy1000 - August 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks AFW, Leo, Fiddlegirl and TT. This one took awhile and my appreciation goes out to all who have written and mastered the MG.
Red Ant - August 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Whoa! I'm not a big fan of basketball either, but this may be the most perfectly rhymed MG parody I've ever seen. 555+
Guy - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1K - What Ant said about the perfect rhyming. Here's three triple doubles which should equal 5 5 5.
Timmy1000 - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Ant, thanks Guy

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