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Song Parodies -> "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Homosexual"

Original Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model of a Modern Homosexual"

Parody Written by:

R. Reinhart

The Lyrics

I Am The Very Model of the Modern Homosexual

I am the Very Model of the Modern Homosexual
My cooking skills my lovely home
Are really quite exceptional
I hit the gym each day each night
My muscles are perfectional
My gluts my pecs my gleaming gut
Are really quite delectable

I know which movie star is gay
and who pretends at Het-er-o
My knowledge of Gay Hollywood
is really just incredible

But still in matters ethical
Artistic, metaphysical
I am the very model of the modern homosexual

I watch every trashy TV show
I know the rumors talk the talk
I gawk at all the biggest stars
But wish that I could walk the walk
I have red carpets in my dreams
The finest tux the grandest gowns
I used to do drag long ago
Before the Republicans came to town

I back gay causes to the max
And fund the Human Rights Campaign
Lesbian soldiers get a check
Transvestite priests get all my change
Transsexual senators count on me
To back them on election day
I vote straight Democrat and gay
And MCC is where I pray

And still in matters ethical
Artistic meta-physical
I am the very model of the modern Homosexual

I have a house on Castro Street
Greenwich Village is my home
I visit all the gay resorts
Key West Palm Springs.
Cape Cod and Rome
I watch the L Word faithfully
And Will and Grace my favorite show
Take one look at my Porno stash
And then watch out for "Thar She Blows"

I prance around like princess Grace
And dance at all the latest bars
My smile is frozen on my face
I drive the most expensive cars
All the boys just look and drool
And beg the number for my phone
I haven't touched a man in years
I bitch and then go home alone

For all the sex I say I get
I might as well be celibate
I'm so busy looking beautiful
I'm gay but that's the hell of it
My boy friend left me long ago
And said I was a bitchy queen
I don't care what the world may say
My life and love are relevant

I need a man that I can love
I'm lonely and I have to shout
Hold me tight and kiss me hard
Then show me what love's all about
Or still in matters ethical
Artistic, metaphysical
I'll only be the model of the modern homosexual

R. Reinhart

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 46

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   2
 3   9
 4   10
 5   23

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - January 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Not bad at all, some clever rhymes too. Would have been better IMO with the choruses included.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - January 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Inlike you (if this is based on personal experiences), this song is beginning to be overdone, hence probably the low number of votes and comments. I do have to agree with my rubicund friend though, this had it's moments and deserve more attention.
Nick - December 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Personally I think it's a work of genius. Good ryhming, clever lyrics. Very good indeed
Morgan - October 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Jim in NYC - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Cute, but nothing special.
Below Average Dave - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
I don't know, nothing in here that really stands out, kinda all expected stereotypes, which can be fun, but also predictable. The other thing is the pacing was not very strong, I give it triple 4. . .

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