[Me]
I am the very model of a parliament'ry candidate
I'll promise lots of goodies through my policies, inadequate
You'll find my private life is more than just a bit degenerate
At Question Time, you'll find my lips are verging on inanimate

I'm very well acquainted, too, with being inarticulate
I understand that sometimes shady dealings I must approbate
About election time you'll find I'm filling up the TV news
With many cheerful facts about my wider reaching social views


[Lackeys]
With many cheerful facts about his wider reaching social views
With many cheerful facts about his wider reaching social views
With many cheerful facts about his wider reaching social, social views


[Me]
I'm very good at looking smart and smiling when I'm canvassing
I know to keep my face straight when I'm talking of the change I'll bring
In short, I'll promise goodies through my policies, inadequate
I am the very model of a parliamentr'y candidate


[Lackeys]
In short, he'll promise goodies though his policies, inadequate
He is the very model of a parliamentr'y candidate


[Me]
I'll stroll out with my kids to show I really am a fam'ly guy
'though when I put my foot in it, they seem a little cam'ra shy
I'm quoted in the press as saying "only mugs'll vote for us"
But conned you into thinking that I really am quite won-d-rous

I can tell you doubt my honesty and think that I just try to please
By answering your questions with the "facts" to put your mind at ease
But I can now assure you that I am the guy you're looking for
My manifesto's making lots of promises you can't ignore


[Lackeys]
His manifesto's making lots of promises you can't ignore
His manifesto's making lots of promises you can't ignore
His manifesto's making lots of promises you can't, you can't ignore


[Me]
I'll lead you down the garden path with promises of change galore
Bamboozle you with jargon 'til you don't know who you're voting for
In short, I'll promise goodies through my policies, inadequate
I am the very model of a parliamentr'y candidate


[Lackeys]
In short, he'll promise goodies though his policies, inadequate
He is the very model of a parliamentr'y candidate


[Me]
Although it sometimes seems that my campaign may be unravelling
Because, when I was interviewed, they couldn't stop me babbling
And so it seemed my tiny brain may be a little over-taxed
I'm learning from my colleagues how to stay composed and look relaxed

Now Tony's taught me all he knows on sharing knowledge openly
I'll learn from Boris Johnson how to tackle issues tactfully
And Kilroy-Silk's got lots of tips on party unanimity
Yes, I'll soon be a paragon of virtue and integrity


[Lackeys]
Yes, he'll soon be a paragon of virtue and integrity
Yes, he'll soon be a paragon of virtue and integrity
Yes, he'll soon be a paragon of virtue and integ-integrity


[Me]
With my governmental standing, gained through lying and connivery
I'm gonna be your leader, yes the greatest in a century
In short, I'll promise goodies through my policies, inadequate
I am the very model of a parliamentr'y candidate


[Lackeys]
In short, he'll promise goodies though his policies, inadequate
He is the very model of a parliamentr'y candidate