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Song Parodies -> "400 Labor Pangs I've Borne"

Original Song Title:

"For Unto Us a Child is Born"

Original Performer:

George Frideric Handel

Parody Song Title:

"400 Labor Pangs I've Borne"

Parody Written by:

Yolanda DeByle

The Lyrics

Dedicated in Memory of Esther DeByle 1917 - 2007
[Soprano]: 400 labor pangs I’ve Borne. I can’t Wait, until it’s Over; I am Tired, of being pregnant
[Tenor]: For nine long months I’ve had to put up - [Soprano]: Oh, a contraction comes once more---
[Tenor]: - With complaints, of morning sickness, pants won’t fit, she’s really nervous
[Alto]: For the past three months I have waddled… [Bass]: Been up since 4 o’clock this morn-
[Alto]: Every Night, I use the Bathroom, several Times, I cannot hold it. [Bass]: -ning. Water broke,
[Alto]: I am in – [Bass]: Our mattress ruined. [Alto]: - so much discomfort.
[Tenor]: Should’ve used a condom That is what I told--- [Soprano]: All this extra weight makes –
[Tenor]: - her. [Soprano]: - me look 10 years old---
[Alto & Bass]: There’s a bunch of baby names– [Soprano]: -er. [Soprano, Alto & Bass]: - in this here folder,
[SATB]: And his name shall be call-ed: Adrian; Benjamin. We can’t agree, this Talk could last forever, oh God help me!
[Alto]: All my Nerves are badly worn [Tenor]: Now, all her pubic hair’s been shorn ---
[Alto]: What the Hell, now was I thinking? [Soprano]: I must be a crazy gal. [Bass]: Can’t believe I’ll be a daddy.
[Alto]: And it feels like I’ve been Carrying a boul--- [Bass]: Had enough of this complaining now I scold her. [Alto]: -der.
[Soprano & Tenor]: And his name [Alto & Bass]: And his name [SATB]: shall be call-ed: Christopher; Dominic.
Almighty God, You want the last word always, to keep the peace.
[Tenor]: Wonder if he’ll look like me? [Soprano]: I want some Pickles Jubilee!
[Bass]: Yeah, her tits grew two sizes more. [Alto]: Now he just wants to watch bad porn ----
[Bass]: But she said, “You must not touch ‘em”. [Soprano & Tenor]: Unto us, no sex is given.
[Tenor]: All she seems to want is Just for me to hold her
[Soprano]: All these hormones really making me feel so much Bolder!
[Alto & Bass]: My affection for this Man is turning colder
[SATB]: And his name shall be call-ed: Gregory; Gabriel.
How mighty odd, we’ve never fought before, now let’s make peace!
[Bass]: I’m not ready for a baby. [Soprano, Alto & Tenor]: Well.
[SATB]: All your Doubts make me feel scorn
[Tenor & Bass]: I’ve endured Your nasty mood swings, waking me, with loudest belching
[SATB]: And then there’s Your deadly farting.
[Soprano]: I’m the one who – [Soprano & Alto]: had to put up with episiotomy.
[Tenor & Bass]: And the baby
[SATB]: And the baby now is presenting his shoulder. And his name shall be calle-ed Yukio; Zebulon!
[Break!]
[SATB]: Oh my good God, we Gave birth to a daughter, the Princess pees! I Am at last a [Soprano & Alto]: mother, [Tenor & Bass]: Father. [SATB]: now I can sleep
[Baby]: Waahhh!
© 2007 by Yolanda DeByle See it performed

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

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Old Man Ribber - May 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Yolanda - I am a retired music teacher (junior high school bandmaster) and therefore get this parody! You "Handel" this very well, leaving it twisted but not "Baroque". Please submit more fine arts music parodies. I'll even contribute some if you do. Thanks again. ;D
Lee - May 08, 2010 - Report this comment
A good read!. 5's.
Jeff Bowles - July 27, 2011 - Report this comment
It's not just good. "and his name shall be called..." is inspired. Who would have thought of taking the baby-name-choosing and putting it to THAT Handel piece?
Yolanda - December 16, 2011 - Report this comment
The link to See It Performed has changed! Try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po3NII8xE-o

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