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Song Parodies -> "Samus Aran"

Original Song Title:

"Green Eggs and Ham (Shortened)"

Original Performer:

Dr. Suess

Parody Song Title:

"Samus Aran"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

For those who played Nintendo, you should recognize the first female armed protagonist in video games- Samus Aran. I'll try to tell her story in order. I shortened the original due to lack of more material on her. And I didn't repeat every line, but made substitutions. 77 lines is enough IMO!
I am Ridley

I hate Sam
Samus Aran

Killed all her Fam
But not Samus Aran
On K-2L
Zebes she ran

I like to fight
Samus Aran

I do not like her,
Samus Aran
I do not like
Her exoskeleton

Varia suit- in there
What she wears

DEWs impair
Morph Ball aware
Part of her weapons
For Ex-soldier
Still I fight
Samus Aran
I do not like her,
Samus Aran

Bounty Hunter
All about
My space pirates
Track her down

She's not meek
Like a mouse
She hits hard
She never doubts
I will fight her
Here or there
I will fight her
Anywhere
I must pursue Samus Aran
Until the day I wreck her plans, but

She is stealthy
Like a fox
Gunship transport
Comes in hot

In she trots
Or flies like hawk
Offense mounts
No turnarounds
I will fight her here and there
Across the Galaxy anywhere
I despise Samus Aran
She will die at my hand

Hero? In Zero*
Somewhere afar
Drinking. Drinking.
In a bar...

I would not,
Should not,
Tear her apart

... For now

An alternate
Enemy!
Metroid terror
Unforeseen!

200lbs, 6 foot 3
Varia Suit is powering
Protection in an armored box
Stealthy like a wily fox
Do you know her whereabouts?
Metroid parasites all about
They will find her here or there
They could find her anywhere
I do hate Samus Aran
But they will drain her in that can...

Let them do the dirty work
A space pirate I am

I do not like
Samus Aran!
I can't defeat
Samus Aran!

[Ridley Out]



* Zero Suit is what she wears underneath her combat exoskeleton Varia Suit

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   12
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - June 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Note: Metroid Samus Returns comes out September 15, 2017. Nintendo 3DS. $49.99
Metroid Hunter - June 26, 2017 - Report this comment
http://www.zerochan.net/1988337
Rob Arndt - June 26, 2017 - Report this comment
I realized my Spellchecker changed Dr. Seusse! Dang!
Grinch - June 26, 2017 - Report this comment
I do not dig this
Here or there.
Don't play Nintendo
Anywhere.
I do not think
It's worth a damn.
Who gives a sh*t for
Sam Aran?
Rob Arndt - June 27, 2017 - Report this comment
I never said I played Nintendo nor this game. I am a PlayStation loyal fan. But I saw artwork on her and investigated. I also see that my Spellchecker defeated me a second time with Dr. Seuss!
Gamer - June 28, 2017 - Report this comment
^^ Hey, ignorant guy, you might want to keep your hatred of gaming to yourself. I'm a professional gamer who gets paid to evaluate new gaming tech. My wife and i love gameplay as well as Cosplay. Maybe you never have heard of the Metroid franchise, but it is big. One of Nintendo's best known after Super Mario Brothers and Zelda. The new incarnation arrives here in a few months and caused quite a stir with fans. There's even the promotion of a live action movie. You aptly called yourself the Grinch, someone who tries to steal the joy from others. YOU have a problem, we don't. Gamers have lives filled with joy and playing video games is much better than playing with guns and planning mass murder or adopting a label to go undermine other people's rights. The only thing we protest in our family is about how much butter on the popcorn! Lighten up dude and get layed.
Watch this - June 28, 2017 - Report this comment
https://youtu.be/UT0uoSgKn_o
Grinch - June 28, 2017 - Report this comment
Gamer: As an adult, I playfully expressed my lack of interest in the wasteful pursuit of teenage video game fantasy. I have a right to my opinion without being insulted or being exposed to your childish tantrum. I do not choose mass murder or terrorism as a substitute for video games, nor do I need to. Have you noticed that the real world is dying? As a chronological adult, have you thought about engaging that world constructively as a teacher, health care provider, engineer, writer, entrepreneur, or a million other vocations which directly assist life on Earth? You are free to engage in anything you want, including evaluating video games, sitting at ballgames all day, playing fantasy football, watching cartoons, etc., especially if they bring you joy. Just get off my back!
Grinch Admirer - June 28, 2017 - Report this comment
You nailed it again! You are the only guy here who thinks straight. And writes great. Parodies too. All with a sense of humour. Thanx.
Metroid Killer - July 09, 2017 - Report this comment
Helmet scan
Weapon in hand
To slay a dragon
Pirates be damned
I love you Samus Aran
I'm so glad you're not a man
Now I can stop using my hand
Once you exit that Exo-can!!!

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