Scouter's paradise

As I walk down the path with two heavy jugs
I get eaten by mosquitos and big hairy bugs
but that's okay for boy scouts like me
'cause we shun fancy things like electricity

well, we always picked on scouts that didn't deserve it
cleaning our mess kits, you know that's unheard of
you better watch out for boy scouts like us
cause we'll tie you to a tree
and that, you can trust

we really hate to sing but we gotta though
cause there's no way we're do'in stupid skits that we've seen before-yo
we're the kind of scouts all the webelos want to be like
sitting in their tents reading the scout handbook by their flashlights

(chorus)
we've been spending most of our lives
living in a scouter's paradise
we're not afraid of big hairy mice
living in a scouter's paradise
wore our uniforms once of twice
living in a scouter's paradise
we sell wreaths at rip off price
living in a scouter's paradise

A local scout called me a weinie last week
so we took down his tent while he was still asleep
we tied him to a tree and it looked real neat
but then the scoutmaster said
go back to sleep!

at 5:30 in the morning I'm getting grub
after the bog hike I took a shower
cause they don't have no tub

(background vocals)
our leader said if we brought food in our tents
animals could get in there
so we put it in his tent
and he got eaten by a bear

I got out of my tent to go to the bathroom
as I walked across the field
I tripped over a racoon

(chorus)
we've been spending most our lives . . . (liv. in sct. prdse)
we carry bags of heavy ice . . . "
did a merit badge once or twice . . . "
we're all bossy and whiny guys . . . "

partials and the blue cards
blue cards and the partials
think that we'll complete them
you're gonna need a marshall
first aid quiz ain't nothing but a heartbeat away
I forgot all my stuff
what can I say
I'm 17 will I ever reach Eagle scout by the time I'm 18 [I did]
the way things are going I don't know G.

tell me why are we
so blind to see
that the ones we bore to death
are you and me

we've been spending . . .
do skits that bore you out of your mind . . .
followed orders once or twice . . .
sang a stupid song in front of you guys
living in a scouter's paradise