Broke down in Kansas City for the weekend
With time to kill and nothin' much to do
Month of December, skies were grey and bleakened
So, figure I'll hunt up a date or two
Approach a sexy hot dressed gal, standin' by herself
Chewin gum and waitin' for a bus
Says I, "Hi, there Babe, are you here all alone?"
Said she, "No, now that you're here, there is us.."

Never Could Get A Date In Kansas City
They always name a place where I can go
I try the clubs and laundromats, no-one winks an eye
Next time I'm gonna' break down in St. Joe
Ladies are uppity in Kansas City,
That two state city where a river flows
All I turned on was a TV set, card-hattin' in my motel
Brown dog out in the parkin' lot was doin' pretty well
As I popped a pack a' Jujubes, I wondered why the Hell..
It's called the "Show Me" state, when no-one shows...

Yes Sir!
It's called the "Show Me" state, but no-one shows...

Never Could Get A Date In Kansas City
Just gotta' lotta' brush offs, cold as snow
I cruised the parks and bus depots, had no luck at all
Next time I'm gonna' break down in St. Joe

Next time I'm gonna' break down in St. Joe