Song Parodies -> The Name's a Pain
| Original Song Title: | "The Rain is Spain" |
| Original Performer: | Cast of 'My Fair Lady' |
| Parody Song Title: | "The Name's a Pain" |
| Parody Written by: | Ingeborg S. Nordén |
A little mini-skit inspired by the frustration I've felt at hearing my name mispronounced, by speakers of both English and Swedish...
[Scene 1--Ingeborg waits in a terminal at O'Hare, when the silence is broken by a ringing courtesy phone and a PA announcement.]
[PA Announcer:]
Phone for you, Miss Nord'n!
Phone for you, Miss Nord'n!
Take the call just down the hall:
the phone's for you, Miss Nord'n!
[Ingeborg's thoughts:]
All day long
in this seat,
waiting till my rear is numb--
Can't get rest,
need to eat,
can't afford a crumb!
[PA Announcer:]
Phone for you, miss Nord'n!
Phone for you, Miss Nord'n!
Don't just wait there by the gate--
the phone's for you, Miss Nord'n!
[Ingeborg's thoughts:]
Nine p.m.,
ten p.m,
on till midnight--where's my flight?
[SFX from the courtesy phone:]
Thirteen times--fourteen times...RING!
[PA announcer:]
Take the call, Miss Nord'n!
Take the call, Miss Nord'n!
Urgent pleas from overseas--
so take the call, Miss Nord'n!
[Ingeborg's thoughts:]
Damn it, I
Can't stand how
ev'rybody wrecks my name!
If some Swede
called me now,
he'd know it's Nordén!
[Ingeborg grumbles to herself as she accepts the call; we hear her thoughts over a muffled conversation in Swedish]...
The name Nordén's a pain to re-explain...
Why can't they get it?
Why can't they get it?
[The phone call ends, and a skycap rushes up to take Ingeborg's wheelchair to the gate.]
[Skycap:]
Now, once again--what was that name?
[Ingeborg:]
It's Nordén...it's Nordén!
[Skycap:]
Let's take you to your plane!
[Ingeborg:]
My plane--my plane!
[thinking to herself:]
O'Hare to Heathrow, then to Halmstad...
Hurrying, hassles happen!
[Scene 2, arrival at the Swedish terminal: Ingeborg is being assisted off the flight.]
[Ingeborg:]
I've landed--Sweden, here I come!
[Swedish skycap, speaking to a colleague]:
Help Miss Nordin here off the plane...
[Ingeborg:]
That's Nordén...that's Nordén!
You Swedes should know the name:
Nordén, Nordén!
The name Nordén's a pain to re-explain...
The name Nordén's a pain to re-explain!
[PA Announcer:]
Phone for you, Miss Nord'n!
Phone for you, Miss Nord'n!
Take the call just down the hall:
the phone's for you, Miss Nord'n!
[Ingeborg's thoughts:]
All day long
in this seat,
waiting till my rear is numb--
Can't get rest,
need to eat,
can't afford a crumb!
[PA Announcer:]
Phone for you, miss Nord'n!
Phone for you, Miss Nord'n!
Don't just wait there by the gate--
the phone's for you, Miss Nord'n!
[Ingeborg's thoughts:]
Nine p.m.,
ten p.m,
on till midnight--where's my flight?
[SFX from the courtesy phone:]
Thirteen times--fourteen times...RING!
[PA announcer:]
Take the call, Miss Nord'n!
Take the call, Miss Nord'n!
Urgent pleas from overseas--
so take the call, Miss Nord'n!
[Ingeborg's thoughts:]
Damn it, I
Can't stand how
ev'rybody wrecks my name!
If some Swede
called me now,
he'd know it's Nordén!
[Ingeborg grumbles to herself as she accepts the call; we hear her thoughts over a muffled conversation in Swedish]...
The name Nordén's a pain to re-explain...
Why can't they get it?
Why can't they get it?
[The phone call ends, and a skycap rushes up to take Ingeborg's wheelchair to the gate.]
[Skycap:]
Now, once again--what was that name?
[Ingeborg:]
It's Nordén...it's Nordén!
[Skycap:]
Let's take you to your plane!
[Ingeborg:]
My plane--my plane!
[thinking to herself:]
O'Hare to Heathrow, then to Halmstad...
Hurrying, hassles happen!
[Scene 2, arrival at the Swedish terminal: Ingeborg is being assisted off the flight.]
[Ingeborg:]
I've landed--Sweden, here I come!
[Swedish skycap, speaking to a colleague]:
Help Miss Nordin here off the plane...
[Ingeborg:]
That's Nordén...that's Nordén!
You Swedes should know the name:
Nordén, Nordén!
The name Nordén's a pain to re-explain...
The name Nordén's a pain to re-explain!
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User Comments Follow...
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Good job, Ingerabord...5's...me? I never complain about what I'm called (well, not too much, anyway) unless it's "late for dinner"...
Another reason to use a nick on the net...
Well... "Viljanen" resembles so much the Afrikaans name "Viljoen" that I've been thought to be South African more than just once...
555. Robert Anton Wilson wrote alot about "fnords", but that's neither here nor there.
I can em-pa-thize. And nice job.
Thanks; I hate mispronouncing names, even in my head, and I confess I was saying "Nordin" all this time. But NEVER AGAINE. Well done.
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