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Song Parodies -> "Hannibal's Social Skills"

Original Song Title:

"Always A Woman"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Hannibal's Social Skills"

Parody Written by:

Steven Cavanagh

The Lyrics

Hi guys! Circumstances have kept me away so long I've even fallen out of the top 50. Miss me?
He was killed with a smile
and I ate him with fries.
He's unusually large, so I went "super-sized"
If you want to know why let me tell you, Clarice:
The fat ones, the thin ones,
they all taste like chicken to me.

If I go to a wedding,
I must toast the bride.
Serving my fellow man
makes me feel good inside.
And I like to call Mormons
"home delivery".
I'll give you the beef,
People all taste like chicken to me.

Oh, lived a life by myself.
Girls would have dinner once,
then they're saying goodbye.
Oh, can I find a good heart?
Find someone that can fill
This need I have inside?

If I ate some lawyers,
are they really murders?
If my door's unlocked,
then I've sent out for burgulars.
That clown tasted funny,
the "happy meal" freak.
I like people of taste,
and my patients all agree with me.

Oh, I just can't help myself.
People get so steamed up,
Like that Texaco guy.
Oh, last week he gave me gas.
He's a little French dip,
But he had a good eye.

And it's me, not TV,
that turns brains into mush.
If I dump a girl,
I remember to flush.
and I like Michael Jackson,
the other white meat.
I won't butter up you:
the phone book's a menu,
and they all taste like chicken to me.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

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Johnny D - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
WOW! Twisted genius! Too many frickin' brilliant lines to choose a fave! 555
Arwen - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Delectable! 555!
Clarisse - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
DeLecterable!
TJC - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
wonderful! I agree wholeheartedly with Johnny D's assessment: 5's all around (really need a 6 category to do it justice)
MrMacphisto - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
This is easily within the top five best parodies I've read on this site. Awesome job dude....
Phil Alexander - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah.. the old "happy meal" joke :-) Being out of the top 50 must really be eating you, Steven (or something, anyway)
Billy Florio - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Steven, where ya been? Even though its the first song Ive read today, Im proclaiming it the Song of the day! Amazing job
Claude Prez - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious
Melhi - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(Laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes!) My compliments to the chef!!
Meriadoc - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
This was hilarious! And I am gald to see you back - it will help dispel the rumours that we are really you... ;-)
Sweet Indigo - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
That was wonderful. :D
Spaff.com - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
It kinda ticks me off that an expertly crafted piece likes this can garner 3s and 4s, while ten-minute toss-offs routinely score 5s. But hey.
Impressive work, Stevenagh. Tasty stuff.
Michael Pacholek - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
This was a direct ripoff of Jay Leno's "Hannibal Lechter Jokes," but who freakin' cares? Jay says to bandleader Kevin Eubanks, "Hey Kev!" "What's up, Jay?" "Why didn't Hannibal stop after eating Puffy? 'Cause there's always room for J-Lo! Hey Kev! What does Hannibal Lechter call John Goodman? Dinner for two!" Here's some that Jay didn't do: What does Hannibal Lechter call Bill Clinton? An aphrodisiac! What does Hannibal Lechter call George W. Bush? Not brain food, that's for sure! What did Hannibal Lechter say after eating Tom Clancy? "The book was better!" Why hasn't Hannibal Lechter eaten John Kerry? He wants to have him with both ketchup AND mustard, 'cause he wants it both ways! What does Hannibal Lechter call Howard Dean? An open-faced crab sandwich! And finally, one from Johnny Carson, after the first movie came out: What did Hannibal Lechter do when he got laid off? Stood by the side of the road with a sign saying, "Will work for YOU."
Steven Cavanagh - July 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks guys. Good to be back. M&P- It's an honour to be mistaken for you. Billy- Don't you mean "Today's Special"? :-) Michael- I did use a couple of Leno's (eg Texaco, not that HE made them up either), but most were from dimly remembered school jokes (eg funny tasting clown) and some were original (french dip, steamed up, TV/mush, serving fellow man). The 'good eye' was just vitreous humour :-
Slytherin15 (The CavFan) - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
YEAAAAHHHHH!!!! I adore Lecter, so now I'll sing it in the bathroom, on the bus home, on the HL-con, and everywhereee! It's not 555, it is 999!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go Steve, go Hannibal!

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