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Song Parodies -> "Rock the Doomsday Clock"

Original Song Title:

"Rock Around The Clock"

Original Performer:

Bill Haley and The Comets

Parody Song Title:

"Rock the Doomsday Clock"

Parody Written by:

Chris Wolvie

The Lyrics

Seventy years ago, the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists started the "Doomsday Clock", a graphical representation on how close the world was to ending (initially from nuclear war but now also from environment disasters). The idea is that, when it's midnight, we're screwed. The ominous minute hand has gone back and forth over the last seven decades. Now, with North Korea threatening and current administrations being rather blasé over the use of nukes, it is the closest to midnight since Project Ivy Mike. Ah, well, if we're gonna party like it's "midnight", might as well have an appropriate song, right? Share and Enjoy!
Twelve, 'leven, ten minutes, nine to midnight
Eight, seven, six minutes, five to midnight
Four, three, two minutes, one to midnight
We're gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight

Back in '47, they cleared the room
Said, "seven 'minutes' till we all go boom"
We're gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight
We're gonna rock to the nuke's blinding light
We're gonna rock, gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight

In '53, was two minutes then
When we set off bombs of hydrogen
We're gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight
We're gonna rock to Ivy's blinding light
We're gonna rock, gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight

(guitar riff over an air raid siren)

When the Cold War stopped, it was keen
'Twas moved up to seventeen
We're gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight
We're gonna rock to world peace's light
We're gonna rock, gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight

They added climate change to how it's set
Now we're getting even closer yet
We're gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight
We're gonna rock against the dying light
We're gonna rock, gonna rock the Doomsday Clock tonight

(guitar riff over the sound of the Emergency Alert System)

When the Clock strikes twelve, the world will end
So we might as well rock up to it then
We're gonna rock the Doomsday clock tonight
We're gonna rock; there's no more morning light
We're gonna rock, gonna rock the Doomsday clock tonight

(final riff, with nuclear explosion inserted in the pause)
For the record, if you keep giving 1s to my parodies, you're just inching the clock closer, in my opinion...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Patrick - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
Reminiscent of Weird Al's "Christmas at Ground Zero". Might as well go out in style.
Jonathan - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
explosive! 5s
annimal - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
oh yeah
Rob Arndt - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
Both the DEFCON and Doomsday Clock systems are unreliable. Neither account for a sneak attack. A sub-launched nuke off a coast can hit a major city in 10-15 minutes. A smuggled backpack nuke undetected similarly can wipe out millions in a flash. The US came close to WW3 in '62 (Cuban Missile Crisis), '68 (Rogue Soviet Sub K-129 off Hawaii), '74 (Crash of a US SSBN and Soviet SSBN near Britain), and Operation Able Archer in '83 (E Germany and Soviets mistaking exercises for prelude to first strike). God knows how many times since then still classified. According to military journals and RAND, WW3 will start by 2020 or earlier!!! The Clock doesn't matter. 5.55 minutes to Midnight!!!
qwerty - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
There you go, CW ... meet jerkoff behaviour with humor. Then everyone can have a good laugh

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