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Song Parodies -> "Point of No Return (Replacement Baseball)"

Original Song Title:

"The Point of No Return"

Original Performer:

Andrew Lloyd Webber

Parody Song Title:

"Point of No Return (Replacement Baseball)"

Parody Written by:

D. Pietras

The Lyrics

From deep in the archive, written shortly after the infamous Baseball Strike of 25 years ago (and subsequently edited).
PLAYERS:
We have come here,
in pursuit of a CBA,
in pursuit of a deal, which 'til now
has been absent, absent…

We have come here,
still demanding for greater pay!
Though we make many millions of dollars,
they aren't enough, we want even more dollars,
and you aren't bargaining.
No second thoughts:
we are striking, we're striking…

Past the point of no return —
computer baseball:
the game, which, until now, was lots of fun.
Past the point of no return —
no time for bargains.
Abandon hope; pick up your joystick, son.

Although Dick Ravitch and Don Fehr
have blown the season out their ear,
that doesn't mean the game cannot live.

FANS:
Past the point of no return —
No pity for baseball.
Computerized World Series can they earn
beyond the point of no return.

OWNERS:
You have brought us
to a place where our profit's dry,
to a place where our business dissolves
into chaos and darkness.

We have come here,
hardly knowing the reason why!
In our minds we've already imagined
your salaries deformed, duly capped, and decrepit,
yet now we are here with you.
No second thoughts,
we're adapting, adapting...

Past the point of no return —
Replacement baseball:
The players are gone? We'll get some in their place!
Past the point of no return —
Replacement baseball:
Cal's streak is o'er; the game will fall from grace!

Because Dick Ravitch and Don Fehr
have blown the season out their ear,
the game may never quite recover!

FANS:
Past the point of no return —
no pity for baseball!
The game is gone, so stand and watch it burn.
They've passed the point of no return!
It is kind of scary how accurate computer baseball predictions (which were a lame attempt for some newspapers to simulate the lost part of the 1994 season) have become since then.

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Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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 4   0
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