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Song Parodies -> "Defecated Foetid-Smelling Poopie Logs of Feces"

Original Song Title:

"The Battle Hymn of the Republic"

Original Performer:

American traditional song

Parody Song Title:

"Defecated Foetid-Smelling Poopie Logs of Feces"

Parody Written by:

Poopie Longstocking

The Lyrics

Well I have enjoyed reading so many poop-parodies on this web-site that I want to have a go at it myself! To my American friends, kindly pardon my choice of original song - I intend no disrespect to your great nation - I chose this traditional American tune because of its proud and stately rhythm and meter.
My bowels have been expanding as they fill with swill galore!
And quite soon I'll sit with dignity upon the throne once more!
I shall grit my teeth, contract my gut, and push and grunt and roar,
Until brown logs splash down!

You can call me Madame Poopie!
Poo can fall from my can droopy!
Scoop it up and mix with new pee!
Then drink that brown mess down!

I eat a lot of fibrous matter to increase the mass,
Of the slipp'ry slimy stinky stuff extruding from my ass!
If you care to taste it, let me know, I'll dump some in a glass,
So you can gulp it down!

Can't a(v)oid the chance to quaff pee,
Mixed with two-pounds-and-a-half, see,
Of some icky sticky taffy, that's fecal, foul, and brown!

My first log hit the toilet water with a mighty splotch,
Sending cold diluted fecal chowder up into my crotch,
Then the next one, and the next one, oh they're so much fun to watch!
Don't flush it - drink it down!

My poo reeks like what's departed,
From a proud horse who's hoof-hearted!
Smell it and you'll cry "WHO FARTED?"
That's no fart - that's my brown!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 34

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 2   4
 3   2
 4   1
 5   19

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Hoof Hearted - March 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Get this off the site! It's way too gross! The next time I click on this link, I want to see a "404 Not Found" Message. You are sick. :P
Anal retentive cop - March 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Hoof hearted, why are you reading this???????? heh heh heh
Chuck A. Spear - March 12, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought this was hilarious! Pippy Longdroppings, your talent might be more appreciated on C'mon, matter how old you are....farting and crapping is funny! I prove it everytime I go to wal*Mart! (well...the farting part, anyway)
Bob Konigsberg - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Ok, I read it - some of it is funny, most isn't. What bothers me more is the extremely selt-centered nature of the author's point of view. That becomes evident soon enough - and spoils what might have otherwise been simply juvenile/sophmoric humor.
AFW - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Disgustedly hilarlious...
carol - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
that is so funny!!!
Icky Ticky Tavi - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
You're all wrong. It's stupid. There should be a ban on all poo themed parodies; this just goes way over the line. I hope Chucky takes this down at some point.
Mr. Potty Mouth - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I second that, Icky. There has got to be some way to vote zero's on this piece of crap.
Agrimorfee - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Coprophaginous! It takes guts (yarf, yarf) to write like this. Pacing's off in verse 2 & 3....otherwise a good contender for Grossest Parody ever.
Mr. Potty Mouth - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
You're right. But I still want to vote zero's in the how funny and overall catagories.
Chuck A. Spear - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
What I don't understand: You tools who are complaining about this parody- if you don't like bathroom humor, why did you click on a title that has five words in it that reference doo-doo? It's not like you walked into this innocently. You clicked on, and read a parody that you obviously knew was about turdie. It seems to me, that anyone who clicks on a title containing such words, is a hard-core poopmeister. And if you don't like stuff like this....don't read it. It's like buying a Playboy, and then complaining that it contains pornography!
Mr. Potty Mouth - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Listen: I don't think that just ignoring poop parodies is gonna make 'em go away. I support Hoof and Icky 100 percent! And I ain't trippin when I say this parody is a piece of crap. >vomits<
Constie Tushun - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
All you pawty poopers who don't like this kind of parody look up my first amendment. When you are ready to throw that away and the first amendment is repealed you can have your way about what the content of the parodies on this site should be. Otherwise just realize that "Shit Happens".
Chuck A. Spear - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Why would you want to make them "go away"? If you don't like 'em, don't read 'em. I'm sure no one likes or agrees with everything posted on such a site as this- but use some disgression as to which parodies you read, if you're that sensitive. Self-censorship. There's no reason to ban something that you don't like. Just don't read it, and let those who enjoy such things, enjoy it.
Mr. Potty Mouth - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
But I think it is completely disgusting and it should be on What Freaks dotcom. That site is devoted to dirty parodies.

Gerhags I should have clarified when I said "go away"; I meant that there should be no more goog themed garodies whatsoever. Geriod.
Mr. Gotty Mouth - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Let me translate the last paragraph of my last comment to pure English:

Perhaps I should have clarified when I said "go away"; I meant that there should be no more poop themed parodies whatsoever. Period.
Poopie Longstocking - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you all for taking notice of my maiden voyage into the uncharted waters of musical parody! I shall post another poop-parody for all to savour and enjoy when my musical bowels are full and ready to move!
Mr. Potty Mouth - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, glease shut ug, Googie Lungsmoking. You are stugidly sick.
Hugh G. Reckshun - March 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, PP Longstinking, I have a question for you (and it's addressed specifically to you): Are you on drugs or something?
Dumb Ass Kid - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
So, you enjoy such things, do you, Chuck A Spear?... I'm afraid i'm with Hoof and Icky - This is beoynd description
Dumb Ass Kid - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I've figured you out, Pepsi Lungsticking. You give the other authors 5-5-5 and lick their arses so that they praise your work the same. This isn't fair on other and better authors who put time and effort into their pieces and come away with 3s and 4s so pack it in
Stephen aka Step-chan - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I agree with Chuck A Spear, there is no need to censor these parodies. I don't particulary care for them either, but I'm not offended by them(since I'm an eccentric, it's hard to offend me).
Grammar cop - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Stephen aka Step-chan needs to spellcheck his comments before he submits them, for at least two reasons:

1.) "Particulary" is not a word. (I can't find it in my F**kin' Wagnall's.)

2.) He also overlooked a comma splice in his first "sentence"; he should have said: "I agree with Chuck A. Spear; there is no need to censor these parodies."

3.) Is eccentric a noun?
Stephen aka Step-chan - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Okay, eccentric can be used as a noun(but rarely is). I now remember it is supposed to be "particular", I just used the wrong way. I'm no good with comma's. I can't remember how to use them. Cut me some slack!
Grammar Cop - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Okay, but you just used an apostrophe where there shouldn't have been one. "Comma's" indicates possessive, not plural.
Stephen aka Step-chan - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment
I realized that after I posted. I use the library's internet and there is a time limit. I only had one minute when I typed the previous post and I wasn't paying attention.(It will go to the next in line when my time is up)
No Name Given - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I think what Mr. Potty Mouth was trying to say in his first two comments is that there should be a way to vote zero's so that it affects the voting results.
poomaster - April 22, 2007 - Report this comment
My idol's debut in the field of parody. I strive to be like you, Mister Longstocking, but I really think everyone does.
skrewmaster - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Mr. Poomaster, we are aware of your strivings by this point. However, Mr. Poopie is not going to respond to that comment, because he died a year or two ago. Most of us do not miss him.

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