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Song Parodies -> "Hallelujah, I'm an Atheist!"

Original Song Title:

"Hallelujah, I'm a Bum Again!"

Original Performer:

Al Jolson

Parody Song Title:

"Hallelujah, I'm an Atheist!"

Parody Written by:

Al Silver

The Lyrics

The OS is at
The Jews don’t like the goys.
The priests molest young boys.
The Muslims – well, you know,
Hallelujah, I’m an atheist!
Why pray my soul to save
When I can do the sins I crave?
My fate’s the dice’s throw
Hallelujah, I’m an atheist!

What happens is by chance;
Despite religious rants;
No god is in the sky,
That’s a lie.

Let Dawkins be your guide,
Put Scriptures far away aside;
The Church just wants your dough,
Hallelujah, be an atheist!

Billy Graham is praying with a CEO;
Jimmy Swaggart’s puffing up his hair;
Unbeliever, since the days of radio,
They have blown hot air.
Unbeliever, run – don’t wait;
It’s almost time for the collection plate.

The Christians hate the Yids.
The priests and nuns have kids.
You unbeliever, sing,
“Hallelujah, I’m an atheist!”
Why wake on Sunday morn
And tell yourself, “Again you’re born”?
Ignore the church bells’ ring,
Hallelujah, be an atheist!

The pope was heard to say,
“The Curia is gay,”
The Mormon wears a vest
On his chest.

Forget about God’s wrath,
Don’t take the superstitious path;
You happy sinner, sing,
“Hallelujah, I’m an atheist!”

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.7
How Funny: 1.7
Overall Rating: 1.7

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   18
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

B. Russell - March 11, 2015 - Report this comment
All that a satire should be. Cheeky and funny.
Sid Gendin - March 11, 2015 - Report this comment
Bold and in-your-face. That's satirical parody. I love this kind of contrarianism. I don't even have to know whether or not Al is really an atheist. If he isn't, this is a spoof against atheism. If he is, he made a good case for atheism. If we're religious, we should put our sectarianism aside and vote for this as a parody. Technically, this is excellent. Pacing is spot-on and I loved the OS. Jolson is a master. Thanks for introducing me to him. Kudos and 5s.
Agrimorfee - March 11, 2015 - Report this comment
Akin to the best moments of Tom Lehrer. God bless ya!
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - March 11, 2015 - Report this comment
Initially I had this confused with the Harry McClintock song of the same title. But with faith and YouTube's help I confirmed that you have written a perfectly paced and inspired piece.
Patrick - March 11, 2015 - Report this comment
The best kind of parody leaves you wondering, and this one does. I once attended a meeting of a group calling itself "The Eupraxophy Society". They read from the works of Mark Twain, Thomas Paine, Robert Ingersoll and other freethinkers. I heard they were going to hold regular meetings at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday mornings. I wondered why all those atheists would get up at such an ungodly hour.
Early-rising Eupraxophist - March 11, 2015 - Report this comment
@AlSilver: Are you certain that you are not, in fact, A-luminous Ag(nostic)?
Al Silver - March 12, 2015 - Report this comment
Patrick: Thanks for teaching me "eupraxophy." I have to work that into a conversation.
Giorgio: Ditto for "contrafaction" from your thread.
Ag: I appreciate that.
Prof. Gendin: Thanks for the plug, young man. You've picked up the local lingo, but where's that Greek philosophers parody?
Al Silver - March 12, 2015 - Report this comment
Make that "contrafactum."
blessed - March 12, 2015 - Report this comment
too bad atheism is a belief system too that is funded and organized with an agenda. You should call yourselves Secular Humanists In Trouble, or simply SH *T. You could use the upside down cross as a flag, but then the Satanists would sue you
Al Silver - March 21, 2015 - Report this comment
@blessed and all the others who anonymously awarded straight 1s: God bless Ron Reagan. Whether or not you're an atheist, you have to applaud his courage in facing down an intolerant element of his father's political base.

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