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Song Parodies -> "Polyvinyl for Millenia"

Original Song Title:

"Carolina in the Morning"

Original Performer:

Al Jolson

Parody Song Title:

"Polyvinyl for Millenia"

Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio

The Lyrics

What could be more drastic than our seas awash in plastic for millenia;
Particles accumulate and enzymatically degradate in fauna.
Population's highest, polluting near the shore.
Altering the constitution of the worldwide ocean floor.

Jellyfish are jealous of those gels the plankton relish for their vinyl,
Seasoning our seafood and inciting crude reactions that are final.
If we had Aladdin's lamp and only one wish,
We'd ask, not me, but seals, whales and fish,
Every Jane and Michael, it's not hard, so please recycle all your pla-a-astic.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 2.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 4
 4
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 1
 1
 

User Comments

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Archimedes - December 12, 2014 - Report this comment
Even better than your last "Carolina" parody about snowstorms. The serious subject matter is funny because it's set to a bouncy tune known for its upbeat lyrics. 555. But you missed an important point: there are 270,000 tons of plastics in the world's oceans. Therefore, 270,000 tons of water is displaced. Water weighs 64 pounds per cubic foot. Seventy percent of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The oceans are, on the average, like, very deep. I am 6-feet-tall. I did the math. If somebody tosses one more Poland Spring bottle in an ocean, the water level in my fast-food diner will be up to my ass.
Giorgio Coniglio - December 28, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks, Archie, for your interest. Despite your careful calculations, I'm not sure how much sea-debris contributes to rising levels. But as we are finding out here in coastal Carolina, as per recent NOAA reports, the sea-change is scary.

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