I can go to salons
Shine it, straighten it, smooth it,
Tell me, stylist, now when did you last
Give a curl a try?
Wash my hair, let it dry
I'll pay extra for blunders
Over, sideways and under
'Till my auburn locks are fried

My hair won't curl
It's straight as Michael Jackson's nose
Nothing can make it coil,
Not even foil
The hairspray, it does nothing

"Your hair won't curl
You're out of luck here, I suppose
You could try perms, I guess
We've done our best
But we can't make your straight hair curl at all"
(I guess I had better try the mall)

"Unbelievably straight
But we always could roll it
We doubt it would control it
You've got dead-straight hair for life"

"Your hair won't curl"
(No results, no surprise)
"A hundred hair products we've tried"
(It can't get any better)
"Think it's impossible
It's thick as wool
It won't curl up the way it's s'posed to be"

(My hair won't curl)
Someone glue shut my eyes
(With every style, there's nothing new)
I'm just wasting my money
Can't curl it anywhere
The stylists swear
When they can't make my hair curl at all

My hair won't curl
("You poor, poor girl")
A guarantee
("I do agree")
No ringlets here
("Please wipe your tears")
No curls for me...