Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Alf
And he did phone commercials with his big brown snout
And they say that Mike Piazza really got him annoyed
So quit all the commercials that he so enjoyed
So moved out to New Jersey where he lived in a bar
And he tried to get some people to put money in his jar
And when somebody did he would say "Dial Collect!"
And pretty soon Piazza's commercials were a wreck
And he went bankrupt and people called him imcorrect
But that's really not important to the story

Well the very next year he met a female shag carpet and he tried to ask her out on a date
But the carpet was inanimate; he lost the number
Of the carpet making company who owned the estate
That he watered the lawn for the next 3 years but then he was given the pink slip
So he went to a bar and the bartender told him to get a grip

Then when day Alf was in the pawn trying to find a lamp
When he heard the high-pitched screaming of a football-playing man
The great Terry Bradshaw was trying to sell
10-10-220 and it was a living hell
So asked his friend Piazza and Mr. Keith to tell
That to dial 10-10-220 is totally cool
Now he's got his very own backyard pool
10-10-220! (Hey Ho!)
10-10-220! (Hey Ho!)
10-10-220! (Hey Ho!)
10-10-220! (Hey Ho!)
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Yah!