(Verse 1)
As I walk down the alley where I meet up my click,
I take a look at my face and realise that I’m a prick!
But that’s just perfect for a wigga like me,
You know I wear fancy things like fake burberry!
At twelve thirty in the morning we’re gettin’ p**sed,
Drinking loadsa voddy and gin and whisk-mate!
And I’ve been pimping and wasted so long that,
Even Eminem thinks I’m a stupid prat!
I’m a chav of the land I listen to R ‘n’ B,
Got a ciggy in my a hand, gish us another roley!
But if I'm watching SmackDown! and Raw,
and doing loadsa w**res,
Then tonight we’ll cause a riot and be breaking all the laws!

(Chorus 1)
We’ve been wasting most our lives living in a chavish paradise!
We hide our size with big gold chains, living in a chavish paradise!
We skive school and lose our grades, living in a chavish paradise!
Thieved goods sold for more than paid, living in a chavish paradise!

(Verse 2)
A local boy got beat up at school last week,
But I just called my crew, coz alone I’m very weak!
He didn’t give us money the week before,
Guess we’re barred again, from going to the liquor store!
But I always punch a goth though he never deserves it,
A civilised chav you that’s unheard of!
I wear designer clothes,
And footy’s really my thing,
And my homies agree I proper look good in bling-like!
Innit don’t you diss me you’ll be shedding tears,
We haven’t even paid our lawsuits in three hundred years!
But we ain’t really hard; we like to think we are,
We’re just little wannabe retards!

There’s no geeks, no straights, no emo kids
Not a single skater boy!
Like 50 Cent and Jay Z,
We’re a laughing stock you can see!

(Chorus 2)
We’ve been wasting most our lives, living in a chavish paradise!
I smoke crack like everyday, living in a chavish paradise!
We don’t work and never pay, living in a chavish paradise,
Our main goal is spreading AIDS, living in a chavish paradise!

(Verse 3)
Dealing with the druggies, stole cash off my mother,
Stole a car on Monday, soon I’ll nick another!
Think you’re proper solid, think you’re bling is real,
Well I know I’m a million times as stashed as you’ll ever feel!
I’m the coolest guy that everybody wants to be like,
With my crew day and night, scoring chicks, tryna cause a fight!
So try to be hard, and wear LaCostey,
And if anyone annoys you let them deal with the posse!

(Chorus 3)
We’ve been wasting most our lives, living in a chavish paradise!
We’re all crazy counterfeits, living in a chavish paradise,
You know that we lose our fights, living in a chavish paradise,
We can't stand for public rights, living in a chavish paradise!

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