My girl says I'm cheap,
Just why isn't known
I give her a ring,
Each day on the phone
She tells me she loves me,
A lie, I suspect
Cause nobody answers
When I Call Collect

Last week, on her birthday,
Some flowers seemed fine
Real nice dandilions,
I wrapped with a twine
Dined at McDonald's..
I splurged, what the heck..
Now, nobody answers
When I Call Collect

Oh, the only sound
is this phone dial toning
My quarters won't reject
From here in the rain,
I can't keep phoning
Cause, nobody answers
When I Call Collect

What a lonely sound
is this phone dial toning
No quarters will reject
I'm soaked from the rain,
and can't keep phoning
Why won't she answer
When I Call Collect?

Nobody answers
When I Call Collect....