Spread it on one slice
And you'll be satisfied
Spread it on two slices
Give the taste a try
When the tarts taste like a waifer thin
The bread lacks something that's missing
Spread it on one slice
Throw away the butter tonight

(Oh yeah, break it out)
Not the real thing
No, the fake thing
Not the real thing
Even better than the real thing.... yum....

Give the taste a chance
Cause it's gonna make you scream
Half-and-half won't last
Margarine tastes just obscene
With honey, child, and it's sure to please
Gonna go right through ya with some cheese
When it's on a slant
It slides down the surface of things

Not the real thing
No, the fake thing
Not the real thing
Even better than the real thing.... yum...

You're free to try the apple pie
The sun will melt this spread just right
Oh now.... oh yeah.... there it goes

In the frier
Taste desired
This taste is higher
You're our next buyer

Not the real thing
No, the fake thing
Not the real thing

Even better than the real thing [3x]