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Song Parodies -> "Here's A Dollar (Go Buy A Pine Box)"

Original Song Title:

"Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Travis Tritt

Parody Song Title:

"Here's A Dollar (Go Buy A Pine Box)"

Parody Written by:

Sarcastic Paranoid

The Lyrics

Think 9/11 was bad? Just wait until you hear what the terrorists have planned for us next. Thanks in good part to the patriotic bloggers of the right, we have the next best thing to having all the Islamic terrorists' attack plans in our hands. Thanks in good part to the leftard traitors and their lying treasonous media outlets, however, nothing is going to be done about this until a huge number of our children die, most likely in some of the very leftard neighborhoods that welcomed our terrorist enemies into the bus-driving business in the first place, since that's where the vast majority of these Islamofascists live and work. Since songs about the poetic justice your terrorist allies are planing to inflict on you leftards might be a wee bit inappropriate after the fact, I'll sing you this one in advance.
Your kids' lives are gone, and you are carrying on;
Now you're sorry for your taunts and mocks.
So now you're in such despair. What do you know? Death's not fair.
Well, here's a dollar; go buy a pine box!

Go bury your children, and wish you were dead,
As you suffer through more aftershocks;
If you care, anyhow; you never did before now.
Here's a dollar; go buy a pine box!

Yeah, you thought a jihad could not be this bad;
The explosion spanned three city blocks.
Your kids are in Heaven; you'll never see them again,
So here's a dollar; go buy a pine box!

Go bury your children--or what's left of them--
Which you can fit into a pair of socks.
They're a child sacrifice to all your damnable lies!
Now, here's a dollar; go buy a pine box!

Yeah! Here's a dollar; go buy a pine box!
This is not to say that you leftards ever really cared much about children, of course: we've all seen how you've abused your own children from womb to tomb with your unwavering support for Planned Parenthood's mass murderers, the ACLU's child pornographers, GLSEN's child-grooming pederasts, the NEA's brainwashing program (a.k.a. the public school system) and dear old Franklin D. Roosevelt's socialist ponzi scheme (euphemistically referred to as "Social Security"). Still, I suppose you'll be missing your own little human fashion accessories for at least a little while. Knowing you, you'll get over them soon enough, though; within a year of the attack, you'll be back to spreading Islamofascist propaganda like the compliant little terrorist enablers you are. In the meantime, it'll be some consolation to me--however slight--to know that all of your departed children will never suffer from your endless cruelty ever again.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   19
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