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Song Parodies -> "Precious Ring (the Gollum song)"

Original Song Title:

"Precious Things"

Original Performer:

Tori Amos

Parody Song Title:

"Precious Ring (the Gollum song)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

imagine Gollum singing this....
So I ran faster
But they caught me here
Yes my loyalties turned
From my anger
those Hobbits made
Running after PRECIOUS
Calling now in my brain

This Precious Ring
Make them bleed
Make them go away
This Precious Ring
I can't break its hold over me

(the sound of Gollum yelling "Baggins")

Sam said I'm really an ugly thing
Frodo still just let me stay
Almost died
But they chained me
Can't believe it.. Master?
With Shelob, I'll be victor
Mess them up everyway
I wanna smash their faces
those pitiful boys
my Precious joy
So you can make me run, that doesn't make you MASTER

This Precious Ring
Make them bleed
Make them go away
This Precious Ring
I can't break its hold over me

I remember
Yes... in my cold little cave
No one dared
No one cared... to take it...
where's my pretty ring gone
Those little snots
With their Nine Inch Feet and putrid, nasty hummus tucked inside the leaves of really old trees

This precious ring
Make them bleed
Make them go away
This precious ring
Make it break
Make them go away
This.. this precious ring
Make them bleed now
Make them go away
This... this precious ring
Make it break its hold over me


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

pickle - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This was just BEGGING to be done as a LOTR parody! Thanks so much.
MrMacphisto - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Welcome, man... I started thinking... "Precious"... lol
Paul Robinson - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
MrMacphisto - I like this Tori Amos song and this parody fits extremely well with it. I don't know too much about LOTR but I knew enough to not be lost with your lyrics, so it's not too LOTR specific for 'non-ringers' to understand. Excellent job 5-5-5.
Arwen - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul is only a "non-ringer" because he has yet to be converted. One of these days he'll be as nerdy as the rest of us! Fabulous work, MrMacphisto, 5s from me!!
Johnny D - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
DK this Torrid Anus song but I wish I did.
Adagio - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I DNTOS either, but it was a good read.'d better get those movies. :D

Johnny, that was either a good play on words or an unfortunate typo. ;)
Paul Robinson - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, JOHNNY D - I didn't go to my Dad's, he called and was a bit fatigued, stay out too late last night playing cards...can you believe that? He's 89 now! Well he won anyway...It happens I am very familiar with Tori Amos's work. If you'll trust me on it I can tell you pace is spot on perfect here. Not a glitch...
Paul Robinson - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
ADAGIO - I should have you, too in my note to Johnny - In case you didn't see it: If you didn't vote due to not knowing Original Song as someone very familiar with Tori Amos's work I can vouch for the pace being perfect here. The LOTR movies...right...did promise...I'd better do it then, 'cause I see Arwen in back around the site a bit again. I don't want to too many short, clumsy, cute women mad at me all at once.
Johnny D - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
555 for Torrid Anus ... and that ain't no typo.
Grace Hampton - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
This is sooooo precious.
MrMacphisto - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the compliments guys... especially the attention to pacing, Paul... I always put a lot of emphasis on that... :)
Paul Robinson - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
MrMacphisto - You're most welcome...yeah, parodies don't work for me unless that match up well on pace and, where possible accent/intonation. Sometimes you can't but I always at least try.
Adagio - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
5's !!
Ravyn Rant - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, wasn't that just precious! I love it when someone can make me laugh out loud at 7:30 in the morning. Thanks!
Arwen - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Alright...I have bestowed the 5s based on my faith in Paul's word. NOW GO GET THE MOVIES, Mister. You can add "recently single again" to your short, clumsy, cute you REALLY don't want to get me upset!! ; )
Arwen - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I've officially lost my mind. You can tell that I only got about 9 hours of sleep over the past 4 days. Seriously. I had already given 5s to this song. AND I didn't have to depend on Paul's word...I KNOW this song...Excuse me for being TOTALLY scatterbrained. Paul still needs to go get the movies...and he still needs to avoid making me mad...but forgive my insanity, please...
Paul Robinson - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen - If you find YOUR mind, can you look for MINE? Sorry it was you that didn't get much sleep but I'm a little relieved that SOMEBODY got less than me. 'Course if was my own fault. I wrote the most upbeat thing of my life late at night and couldn't get to sleep until I collapsed this morning at about 10:00. Wait...I'm picking up these really strong vibes from somewhere....I'm being harkened - what is it they're telling me??? I'm seeing a vision of a figure in the distance, out in a wide-open area, short...kinda-cute...Oops, just fell down....It's shouting at me....what?'s telling me to go rent a movie...
Arwen - March 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul...thanks! I really needed a laugh tonight...and your silly little comment just made my heart smile. I appreciate it...really.
Paul Robinson - March 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen - You're welcome. BTW - Rented 1st Installment ("Fellowship")of LOTR a couple days ago. Have only watched a little since I was extremely fatigued from pretty bad sinus infection for a couple days, but feeling better today and may be viewing more this afternoon or evening. Doing a little house-straightening now since the Apartment police (just kidding, some type of building inspector since the building is apparently going to be sold) are coming by tomorrow to poke around a little so I'm listening to my CSN album that I've "Thumb-parodied" and singing along with it. Got the lyrics on a Word Doc in Track order for when I can't remember...
Arwen - March 28, 2004 - Report this comment
=) i can't wait for your review, mister robinson!
Paul Robinson - March 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen - well, it has to be pretty soon, because my 1-week rental is only good through Wednesday, I think. I have such a lousy attention span for movies and other Visual Media, even ones I like, so I'll probably try and do it in 1/2 hour or 1 hour segments. Maybe check out some more of it when I get from Dad's tonight. I finally bought a printer today to go with the new PC I've had since about March 1st, major procrastinator sometimes, in case you hadn't already noticed that. Let's see, supposed to be at my Dad's at 6:00 tonight for dinner - 5:38 now, 19 miles, mostly Freeway, but the 405 North just might be a problem, (shouldn't be at this time on Sunday night, but it only takes one accident, ticket or stalled car for everything to freeze up). So I gotta go now. Later....
2nz - April 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Damn... DKTOS, but I'm going to find the original song somehow for this one, I swears it on... on, on the precious...
2nz - May 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Nearly a month and an entire arguement between Arwen and Paul later, I KTOS, and this is excellently executed. Your attention to pacing and use of the 'rings' is unquestionably great. 5's for you sir, after a month of delay. I'm off to read some more of your stuff to round out your week.
MrMacphisto - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks 2nz, you really have been as loyal of a voter for me as Paul has. Thanks for all the support. I need to read more of your stuff. Expect more votes and comments for your parodies tonight....
Paul Robinson - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Revisited this one, Macphisto...still a fine job, still straight 5's from me...
Paul Robinson - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, Macphisto, I FINALLY bought some U2 CD's...pretty damned good group, I'd say...I haven't had a chance to come back here and listen while I matched them up to your pieces yet...but I'm gonna try and do that soon...I bought it because I vaguely remembered "One" from a live Concert thing I saw on TV...and I wanted to write something to it (I's in on Author's Page)...then decided they were interesting and good enought to warrant buying some of their stuff...

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