Look, I stand here freezing before you
nipples taut upon my breasts
Ice cream cones; they've got nothing on me
Could you please close all the vents?

Oh, God; do I hate cold weather
When will Summer be here?
No gloves; that was real clever
It stinks; this damn weather
hand me my sweater

Wish I could pretend I'm not freezing
At night I would not have cold ears
Would not shiver under the covers
I would not have an ice-cold rear

Not odd that I hate cold weather
That is why I live here
Wish Spring lasted forever
And Winter was "never"
Where's my damn sweater?

My nose runs and I always am cold
My lips are chapped; they sure are sore
Man, it stinks that it is so cold here
Turn on the heat and close that door

My "bod" does not like this weather
By now that should be quite clear
In bed; I've still got a chilled rear
It's Sh*t; this cold weather

No doubt that I hate cold weather
Spouse grins; at him I sneer
"So, dear, you think you're so clever
Well, right now you'd better
Get my damn sweater"