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Song Parodies -> "Cinephobes Need To Whine"

Original Song Title:

"Semi-Charmed (Kinda) Life"

Original Performer:

Third Eye Blind

Parody Song Title:

"Cinephobes Need To Whine"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Cinephobe- (sin-a-fohb) (noun): A person who is obsessed with every aspect of the cinema and will spend hours talking your ear off about it.
AMC, Cinemark too
AMC, Cinemark too
AMC, Cinemark too

You thought “The Godfather”
Was nothing but slaughter
But you liked that film “Gigli”
Makes no sense to me
Frustration in your film sensations
You liked “Joe Dirt” that movie hurts to see
And I get hostile
You hate “Star Wars” too?!
It’s deemed a classic and you said that it blew
What is wrong with you?
Jedi-fighting is no bore, dude
Darth Vader is the villain I got tattooed
And your choice in films is going bad to worse
Napoleon Dynamite has put in me in a hearse
But lines from that film you still say
“Gosh! Used a freaking twelve-gage!”

I groaned, “I need someone else”
To go see films with
Cinephobes need to whine, Movies? Groovy!
While you’re obsessed with “Elf”
I need different friends to go see, “DARK KNIGHT”!!!

AMC, Cinemark too
AMC, Cinemark too
AMC, Cinemark too

Saw 3 was gross, Blood just flows
I mean, I thought that the bad guy croaked
Good films nowadays are rare
I’m in despair
Watching motion pictures make me ache
I just hold my breath
They all flop, We need someone like Hitchcock
To bring back the magic with “The Birds” to shock
To get locked up
With these films that are so tragic
These sequels just drone
They killed Indiana Jones

How do I convince them to
Make movies that won’t suck like vacuums
I think that I very well might sue
I’m getting upset

Come see “Hamlet 2” or “Mr. Woodcock”
Um, Dear have you lost your mind? No way, baby!
Let’s see something else
“Tropic Thunder” was bad so I say…

I reflect on the days when directors would compose
Not release any crap they were feeling
Actors had talent and weren’t all clones
You know Casablanca makes me cry
All of this bathroom humor is such a blight
And these plotlines are all trite, rewrites

With this plane of snakes
That movie’s worth trashing
Watch these movie clips, someone pick up a script!
Tim Burton’s able to revive all of this junk that is contrived
Each films rocks if a hottie gets undressed?
The porn industry’s become a pest
Until the remakes stop I’ll be unimpressed
That’s why I keep on yelling
I’m sick of this madness
Done… With new movies… Because they’re rubbish
I have the Oscar Awards on just to giggle now
Cause no director’s heavy or profound
I swear, “300” was a big letdown, Oh no
And “Juno” caused me some strife
Teenaged pregnancy is much too vile
Why do these pictures all bite? All bite…

Damaging my health
My passion’s stabbed with… knives, Owie!
Just keep those on the shelf
They’re bargain binned at the…

Best Buy…

Nice Try…

Oh whyyyy…

My EYES!!!!!

AMC, Cinemark too
AMC, Cinemark too
AMC, Cinemark too

“Transformers” held me I suppose
But “Speed Racer” hit an all-time low
And I wish I could go back in time and space
Back there to old Hollywood-ood-ood-ood-ood!!!

AMC, Cinemark too
AMC, Cinemark too
AMC, Cinemark too

“Mama always said…”

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Jason - October 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice work Matty. 555
Ethan - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Are you sure you don't mean cinephile? Cinephobe isn't on but sounds like someone who is afraid of movies.
Matthias - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Yes, I'm sure.... Because I created the word.
Jack Wilson - July 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Im a huge movie buff, but Im not like that and cnat stand it when people are. 555!!!!

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