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Song Parodies -> "Cardinal Fan"

Original Song Title:

"Particle Man"

Original Performer:

They Might Be Giants

Parody Song Title:

"Cardinal Fan"

Parody Written by:

A Room Full Of Monkeys

The Lyrics

More baseball
Cardinal fan, Cardinal fan
Hoping his lame-ass Cardinals can
Just like last year
Cardinal fan

They beat the Cubs, they beat the Reds
They beat the 'stros and all of the rest
But in the World Series, they got swept
Har de har har
Cardinal fan

Cubbie fan, Cubbie fan
Cubbie fan hates Cardinal fan
They have a fight
The millionaires win
Cardinal fan

Cubbie fan, Cubbie fan
Must be a lovable loser man
Haven't won since we bombed Japan*
Cubbie fan

He likes a team with a five year plan
Millenium plan and an eon plan
If that don't work, the manager's canned
Powerful plan
Cubbie fan

Houston fan, Houston fan
Hit on the head by Carlos Bel-tran
Went for the cash and away he ran
Houston fan

Aren't you depressed, he went to the Mets?
Don't you feel totally worthless?
Hang it up now, Houston fan
You had your chance,
Houston fan

Cubbie fan, Cubbie fan
Cubbie fan hates Houston fan
They have a fight
Millionaires win
Steroid ban
*"The law of averages says anything will happen that can/ but the last time the Cubs won a National League pennant was the year we dropped the bomb on Japan"--Steve Goodman

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Al - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Tee Hee. Any Cub Bashing gets my vote. Although the poor Redbirds are hurting after that Verbal assault. I like it.
George Will - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I grew up in Central Illinois, about halfway between Chicago and St. Louis, and I made a historic blunder: All my friends became Cardinal fans and grew up happy and liberal, and I became a Cub fan and grew embittered and conservative. (Pacholek's note: This quote closes the piece on the 1908 National League Pennant race in Ken Burns' "Baseball, Second Inning: Something Like a War.")
Jeff Reuben - March 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Loved it (even without an emotional attachment to any of the teams)
Agrimorfee - March 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent song, loved how it became less relevant to the original verse as it continued, just like the OS! Nice tip of the top hat to Chicago's very own Steve Goodman, too.
Serafina - March 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Haven't heard the original myself in ages...although I have to say it was really creative! Like Agrimorfee just said, each subsequent verse becomes less relevant to the first as it goes on, and if I remember the original song myself, it's something like that. My vote will be 5-4-5.
Scathe - March 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Parody Man, Parody Man Spoofs the songs like no one can. Always a treat, for this fan. Parody Man
Blue Ant - May 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Ditto on all the above comments.
Dominic L. - June 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Great parrody to a great song... 555

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