Let me tell you bout a guy I know,
Went to the barber shop an hour ago
Sat in the waiting chair all by himself
Reading 'zines on mental health

He heard a noise and he looked to the door
And saw a barber walk across the floor
Old man, his hair was grey,
He had some scissors and new hair spray.

He up and raised, and he walked to the chair
And got into the seat in which he'd lose his hair.
"I'm brand new here, this is my first day"
"How'd ya like your hair done today?"

And he said, "Wait a minute I have to think"
He said, "That's fine." And then he turned on the sink
Each snip took off a little more, and eventually had the front real short
He was turning this into a sport.

"Now, dude, that don't look wrong,
How'd ya like to leave the rest out long?"
And he said. "If you could only please just trim up the back, then I'll be

gone."

Thats-when-he-looked-just-like-a-troll

He didn't want to have it this way
Front says 'business'
Back says 'Par-tay'

"Hey there dude, it looks really great"
"Oh my god the back is really straight"
"You know you like it, don't be afraid,"
"If you give me an Ape Drape, you'll never get paid."

He finished up, and gave him the mirror,
He saw the back and he was struck with fear
He said."Now mister, don't be sad, in my opinion, it's totally rad!"
He picked up his coat,
Got right off the chair,
Anger made him red
Cause he hated his hair
Come on party people won't you listen to me,
APE DRAPE PARTY!!

The next day he went to the bar,
looked like Chewbacca, hit with the death star,
He met some guys that had a similar style,
And then they all hung out for a while.
Well, that day he stood, admiring his nut,
He screamed "I love my new haircut!"
His friends all loved his new mullet
So they ordered 25 beers.
And they smiled and shouted "Cheers!"

Later that night, he was really drunk
He cut some new guy's hair in 3 big chunks, and he screamed
But the bartender was on his break outside

That's-when-he-looked-just-like-a-troll

The moral of the ape drape story:
There's no better way to go out and party

That's the way it had to be.
They're wearing them right down to tenessee
Well, I can't say this man's out of his mind,
It is short in the front, long in the behind

That's the way it had to be.
They're wearing them right down to tenessee
Well, I can't say this man's out of his mind,
It is short in the front, long in the behind

He didn't want to
He didn't want to
He didn't want to
He didn't want to
CUT IT!!!!!!