It ain't no joke, if she ate the world, she'd choke
And I know she can't sing in perfect harmony
Her chaffing legs set the world on fire, I'm not a liar
Hey I know it's just a song, but her favorite book's a book of recipes
This is a fat attack, so many rolls rolling down her back
It's just like any diet retracts before it has an effect
She ain't got no sense of fashion
Too busy eating Passion Flakies and chips and dip
If they got Special K, she'll come and buy it just to stay in shape

CHORUS
So don't get too fat, my fridge's supplies are running out
Allow, if you're still alive, six to eight hundred pounds deprived
And if you follow, just chew and swallow
But let the truth not be shone
Yo mama's always blocking out the sun

Twenty five years ago they spoke out and her panties broke out
Of obesity and too much grease and together you choked
And they pigged out with marshmallows around a campfire
Just eating and crapping, man, what the hell happened
Some were Slim Fast, some were Slim Slow
Some they fell down and couldn't get back up
And fought back against the Richard Simmons show
And their kids eat potato chips and they let out shit
Because rations are crashing when you're always eating it

CHORUS

It ain't no joke when Momma's handkerchief is soaked
In barbecue sauce because her hot dog is too dry to make her choke
The bond is broke up so choke up on hamburgers close up
Doctor Pepper can't conform to match the needs of a hippopotamus
And she sits back watching reruns of Survivor finales
News at ten o'clock you momma ate my friend Sally
Put away the grease before the grease puts you away
You need to be there when your babies
Are old enough to get weighed