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Song Parodies -> "Wal-mart"

Original Song Title:

"Allstar"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Smashmouth

Parody Song Title:

"Wal-mart"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Somebody once told me, "The world can just go blow me
if they think I'll work for minimum wage."
He was livin' with his mom and a-goin to the prom
and he was almost twenty-five years of age.

Well
He can't find a job but he says he's lookin'
He won't do cleanin' and he won't do cookin'
Didn't make grades when he was in school
Won't wear a uniform cuz that ain't cool

So much to do, so much to see
So many beers before he has to go pee
He always throws up on the flo
He always whines that he is po

Hey now
Work at Wal-mart
Stock the shelves there
all day
Hey now
Where's the Pop-tarts?
Where's the watch band
display?
And all them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

It's a cool place so it's nice in the summer
Ain't no insurance and that is a bummer
And the union men all get fired
They don't wanna pay your ass when you're retired

The stuff we sell is gettin pretty old
Rotate that product so they all will get sold
Here's a curling iron; here's a nail file
And we're selling rifles in the very next aisle

Hey now
We're at Wal-mart
need a haircut
to-day
Hey now
Buy a Zagnut
in the checkout
Go pay
All them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

Somebody once asked, "Do you have a hockey mask?
And while you're at it, can you change my oil?"
And I said , "Nope. I'm a big dope.
Workin' on a car I don't have no hope.
I guess we all been a little spoiled."

Well
I can't stop goin and I won't stop goin'
Open all night even when it is snowin'
Doesn't make sense to support the small guys
They may have charm but they don't have fries

So much to browse, so much to buy
So what's wrong with helping the big guy?
Oh can't you see that we are free?
You always whine it should not be

Hey now
Shop at Wal-mart
Get a game boy
Go play
Right there
in your backyard
It's a Wal-mart
hoo-ray
And all them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

All them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told....

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 102

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 6
 6
 
 2   2
 1
 0
 
 3   4
 2
 4
 
 4   17
 12
 15
 
 5   73
 81
 77
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DarkJon64 - March 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Hehe, good one! My parody today "You just love the Brand Names" I almost made about WalMart instead. "Shop at Wal-Mart!..." Good job:)
Jon Clemence - March 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice. I like it. You should check out my parody of Livin' La Vida Loca about Wal-Mart. (Sorry for the shameless self-advertisement, but to misquote PBS, "If I don't do it, who will?")
me - March 26, 2003 - Report this comment
That one is pretty fun and makes a lot of sense. Awesome.
Stray Pooch - March 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Good job - love it!
Cheesecat - March 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet, I luv cheese, where's the cheese in this song. No cheese, oh well, it sucks. Just kiddin' ya, it's really great (unlike my parodies, sniffle, sniffle)
hottopicfairy - April 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Smooooooth! I luv walmart!
cheese and bacon - April 08, 2003 - Report this comment
ITS SO FUNNY IM STILL LAUGHING, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he ha!
Mojo Flojo - April 08, 2003 - Report this comment
What's wrong with you?
sexy jelly bean - April 09, 2003 - Report this comment
that was the greatest i laughed so hard i though i was going to shit my liver hahahahahahahaha u all should like this song too.
Jeff Reuben - April 09, 2003 - Report this comment
The pacing threw me a bit, but it was funny!
lebeiw15 - April 10, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked this one too. Pacing was off in some places, but I gave you 4/5/5. Good job!
pikaleea - April 19, 2003 - Report this comment
OMG, awesome! The chorus really fit the pacing of the original and it was really funny! I'm still laughing!!!
hitman__ - April 30, 2003 - Report this comment
LOL...haha, this one is sooo good...if somebody would just record this with these lyrics it would be a sensation! :)
moi - August 02, 2003 - Report this comment
this song was great. execellent beaucoup sweet and i agree with hitman.
Spaff.com - November 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Just reviewing the comments - I haven't spoken up yet? WTF? This is one of the best parodies written by ANYONE, EVER.
DuDe1013 - May 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Way to make fun of a song, dude!
Agrimorfee - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Gosh damn, read this for the first time thanks to Spaff's recommendation in the ABC round. Let's call this my official ABC reading now. Damn good, Claude. My wife works there, she'll love this. :D
Scathe - December 07, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC-W) Nice take, Claude. Nothing says funny like dead end job.
Adagio - December 07, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, but from the looks of the comments I'm missing out on a good one, Good read anyway!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Great rhyming and a scathing wit. Price check on three 5s!
Rick D - December 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I think the number of votes says it all. And that's how many people are in line in front of me at this store.
Guy - December 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC-W) DKTOS - Wish I knew the original, since the read was so good, I really feel like I have missed out on something really good here.
John Jenkins - December 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, Claude, particularly the haircut/Zagnut rhyme and the "small guys/don't have fries" couplet.
Johnny D - December 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Hmm....should the adjective "godlike" be officially replaced with the adjective "Claudelike" ? Hey now, you're a CLAUDE STAR!
Arwen - December 12, 2004 - Report this comment
ABC--what can I say? Spaff was right...=)
Meriadoc - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) The Zagnut alone was worth fives! ;-D
Peregrin - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent work Claude! Top 3 finish!
Claude Prez - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey thanks for all the comments everybody. This was one of my first parodies here.
Jeff Reuben - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent work!
Phil Alexander - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but don't really need to as it reads through pretty well. Vintage Claude, methinks :-)
Paul Robinson - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC W) A really superb read, Claude...DKTOS on the original for me, though, but I still enjoyed the read a whole lot...You know, we had a Super-Market strike out here recently and the Union finally had to give in on just about every point, one of which was to allow the stores to have a lower-tiered pay scale for new hires...and I mean MUCH lower...so the other day I go to the local store and what do I see? I did not recognize a single one of the current checkers, but I sure did notice they were all quite a bit younger than the mostly middle-age group I was used to...I wonder how many hours a week THOSE folks are getting now?
Kristof Robertson - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC-W) 93 votes?? My god!! Well, here's 94...and it's 5s
ABC's OF PARODIES ROUND "W" SILVER MEDAL - January 03, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3010.0;id=2929;image
MC2 - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
nice, 5's all around
Jack Wilson - November 09, 2006 - Report this comment
THis is awesome! 555!
Tooele_softball_gurl - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
LOVED IT!!!!

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