Somebody once told me to make them Rice-a-Roni
But I didn't want to get out of bed.
I was still pretty tired, and plus, I'd just been fired
And I was wishing that I were dead. So,
I sent my friend to the Chinese buffet.
I heard they serve rice there all friggen day.
He didn't care much for the egg foo yung,
But he was delighted by the roast chicken.
So much to eat so much to drink what on God's green earth were they thinking?
I really just needed to know, so I asked Mr. Tachimoto.

"Hey now, you American, get your bib on, go eat!
Hey now, you Yankee, go commit crime, Wall Street!
There I tell you what you wanted to know,
Now you listen here you pay or you go!"

So I left then, I walked out the door,
Bumped into my friend going back for more.
I wanted to try and he said I should.
The rice is dry but the chicken's very good.
But don't you see, take it from me, the problem with our democracy.
Americans just want to eat, we'd give up freedom if we could have a treat.

Hey now, Americans, in all fifty states,
Can't you see that Yankees are vastly overweight.
Children starve overseas,
But this is America, pass the peas.