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Song Parodies -> "Nothing Is Worse Than These"

Original Song Title:

"Nothing Compares 2 U"

Original Performer:

Sinead O'Connor

Parody Song Title:

"Nothing Is Worse Than These"

Parody Written by:

Dumb Ass Kid

The Lyrics

'Nothing Is Worse Than These' aka 'A Tribute To Crap British Number Ones'
There's been several songs that make me cringe
I wish they'd take them off the air
Played on every night and every day
I wish they'd ban them all
Since they're here I've been ripping out my hair
I've been smashing up all of my rooms
The teletubbies made a single and got to number one
And nothing I said nothing can take away Britney Spears

'Cause nothing is worse
Nothing is worse than these

Bob The Builder and Eiffel 65
Even Geri Haliwell
No-one can stop these awful songs from playing
Tell us, Virgin, what did we do wrong?
I can smash up every single bad CD
Mr Oizo and 911
I asked Sony Music and guess what they told me
Guess what they told me
They said "boy it's all a matter of taste in music but you have none"
But it's a con

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to crap

(Very long drawn out musical interlude)

All these got number one here mama
In the UK
Way back in 99
I know that listening to them baby is sometimes hard
But please just grit your teeth and try

'Cause it can't get worse
Can't get much worse than this
No music's worse
No music's worse than this
I hate these songs
I hate these songs, do you?

(Fake tear rolls down cheek)
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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 3
 3
 
 5   15
 15
 15
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
You have just put all my worst musical nightmares into text form...Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!! 555
Blethar - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
God - dark times in chart history. I always wondered how the Teletubbies theme tune became popular. 5-5-5.
Dumb Ass Kid - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Kristof - calm down, man. It's just a parody!!! (and thanx) Blethar - I've wondered that many a time myself about the teletubbies tune, bob the builder, westlife, cliff richard's milenium prayer (worst song ever), mr oizo, s club 7 and geri haliwell. Strangely enough, all were released about 1999. hmmm
Rex - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
You young whippersnappers, you don't know how bad it can get -- but I do, you hear? I survived the dark times. I survived --- Disco!
Dee Range - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
It ain't just the UK, DAK. The USA has just as much, or more crap than anybody. I personally haven't listened to radio since the eighties. The definitive age of great rock music ended in the late seventies for me, with a few exceptions like DIRE STRAIGHTS and a few other bands. Good thoughts in this parody, but DNKOS.
Alyssa - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I DO !!!!!! (hate these songs, too) especially eiffel 65's. I'm not exactly sure what songs got to number one in the U.K, but you missed out the spice girls. 555 anyway
Dumb Ass Kid - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Rex - Ouch. Disco hurts! Dee - I know all about you Americans, 'The Macarena' number one for 15 weeks?! How do you live with yoursleves? Alyssa - I wanted to include the Spice Girls somewhere, and i was going to, I guess I forgot to include them in the submitted version
Red Ant - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Heresy Dee Range!! Music stopped in/around 1996 ( with few exceptions after that, from then on it was Muzak ). Great song DAK, and great slam parody on crappy music. PS- As for the Macarena being #1 for 15 weeks, well lets just say it was #1 for me for about 15 seconds ( whoever the hell kept requesting that needs to be shipped to the North Pole to be eaten by Polar bears ). 555
Dumb Ass Kid - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
A humongous thank u to all who've voted/left comments. This is now officially my most successful parody having getten 6 consecutive 555 votes in a row. I'm speechless!
Dumb Ass Kid - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
STOP PRESS -- The record has since been broken by 'It's Not A Funeral' 9x 555
Red Ant - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
( SOTM ) Already voted and commented.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
There's supposed to be seven signs of the apocalypse and you say that there was about seven crappy one-hit wonders in 1999. Hmm... That would mean Satan came into power shortly after that, or doesn't it, hmm...
Dumb Ass Kid - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
More than seven, Peter. Try a whole year's worth
Agrimorfee - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) UK charts have always been wacky, letting the weirdest novelty tunes hit #1 wqith a bullet. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. Cute song.
Dumb Ass Kid - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Agrimorfee
Charlie Decker - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow, I haven't heard the OS in ages. Great work, DAK. 555
Scathe - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I know a few choice songs that I'd like to die.
Dumb Ass Kid - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Charlie and Scathe thank you both
Rick C - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent work here, DAK! 555
Jeff Reuben - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Way to "Spice" up the song with Geri Halliwell!
Dee Range - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM...DKTOS
Dumb Ass Kid - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx Rick, Jeff and Dee
Guy - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS and I have to agree with Dee's first comment on the thread.
Spaff.com - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
What Agrimorfee said. If anyone thinks that Brit and US charts are virtually identical, ask a Yank who Cliff Richard is. Anyhoo - great job, DAK. I especially like the fake tear.
Dumb Ass Kid - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Guy and Spaff
Arwen - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--I think we can all relate...I know I've got a huge list of songs that drive me nuts...=)
Dumb Ass Kid - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Arwen - thank u
Melhi - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sounds as dismal as the pop scene on this side of the pond. Nice job, DAK.
Dumb Ass Kid - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Melhi
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
We only hear imported crappola, which gives us the illusion that our local music must be of a much higher quality. Nice parody.
Dumb Ass Kid - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Luke
Rex - May 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Commented above.
Johnny D - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Did the Teletubbies really have a #1 hit song in the UK ?
Dumb Ass Kid - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx Rex. Yeah, Johnny they did. It got christmas number one in the late ninties and was no1 for about 3/4 weeks [shudders]
Stuart McArthur - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) LOL!! for the fake tear at the end - recall the OS but not enough to get the pacing working perfectly for me, but I endorse your sentiments DAK, and a GREAT idea for a parody - 555
Dumb Ass Kid - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stu! It's only a rumour at the mo, but if it's true, I would like to add another really really REALLY bad number one to the parody.... Crazy Frog
Claude Prez - May 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey! I LIKED the Bob the Builder song! Way more than than any Sinead song, anyway. But good job nonetheless, the fake tear was a great touch.
Dumb Ass Kid - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Claude. Bob The Builder? Ugh...
Kristof Robertson - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still makes me cringe...;-)
Dumb Ass Kid - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Kristof
Phil Alexander - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I wholeheartedly agree with your fundamental premise, DAK. Well written :-)
Dumb Ass Kid - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Phil : )
2nz - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
All pop music has to do is be catchy to make the charts... but more and more it seems like 'catchy' and 'annoying' are interchangable in that phrase. Honestly, I think I should write and produce a song with lyrics so stupid and repetative I can't breath and a beat derived from the absence of any kind of musical ability. I'd probably chart and make millions... sorry, nice one DAK.
Dumb Ass Kid - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't start getting ideas ; ) Thanx
MysteryGoat - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You know, I probably have to be the only one to actually like some of those one hits. Great song Dumb Ass. ;-)
Dumb Ass Kid - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, mysterygoat
Tim Mayfield - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Late comment due to Firefox and lack of sleep (I guess).. Great concept and love the bashing.
Dumb Ass Kid - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Tim

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