Got a large, a large flabby rear
I've sat on the couch, oh, and ate some Doritos
Drank cola's 'til I got a gas pain
I was belching, through fast food jingles
Ate a whole bag of Frito's, cramming in junk food
I bent over and can't rise again
Ate all day, I might throw up
My stomach is so bloated up

That stuff makes you flabby
then you get real sad
Yes, you're getting flabby
Now your weight problem is real bad

You frown; your shape is round
You never liked whole grain; dieting's a strain
Your weight is now at three-oh-four

You gain pounds; you're packing some lard, hey
Just can't wait to be fed
Spread more jam on your bread
Ate up all the pot roast again
I see you gnawed the bone
Now you'll have to wear a girdle, you know

That stuff makes you flabby
then you get real sad
Yes, you're getting flabby
Now your weight problem is real bad

You are so damn flabby
then you get real sad
Yes, you're getting flabby
Now your weight problem is real bad

I'm too large; far too large, I fear
Can't get off the couch, no; ate two more burritos
Eat everything that I can see
Not okay, just ate 4 ding-dongs
I'm so fat now that I just wear sarong's

I am so damn flabby
It's gotten real bad
I'm just too damn flabby
And now it's making me real sad

I'm real fat and flabby
But more pounds I still add
Now I'm looking shabby
I need to lose some weight real bad