Listen as a fart blows
From out of my sore backside
Feel my hemorrhoids burning
Doc says I have nine
I've got some constipation
A big turd's stuck inside
I could use an enema
to help that big turd slide

Believe me it's no fun
To push it out
Pushin' so hard
And then it's bombs away
And after I'd, wipe away the smear
Squirt cream up my rear

With the tube I fumble
My rectum I invade
I cry out with an uncouth word
The pain it does not fade
Oh, it's costing me a bundle
and it takes up so much time
My butt hole won't give me a rest
It's burning me alive

And I may take a gun
Blow my brains out
'Cause it's so hard
To stand another day
With a sore ass
It drives me to tears
Fire up my rear

I fart out loud like thunder
It's pooping that I dread
Another day of wiping up
The blood that my ass bled
Oh I've tried a lot of anal creams
I squeeze them up inside
But nothing seems to work I fear
Relief I am denied

And I may take a gun
Blow my brains out
'Cause it's so hard
To stand another day
With a sore ass
It drives me to tears
Fire up my rear
Blow my brains out
'Cause it's so hard
To stand another day
With a sore ass
It drives me to tears
My rectum fries