(Screw it, Dave, I don't think I should do this parody)
[Below Average Dave: Come on, why not?]
(People might not appreciate the research I put into this, you know?)
[Below Average Dave: Ah, but that's AmIRight!]
Jam on!

Let's talk about Tex, baby
Let's talk about history
Let's talk about the singing cowboy
What I learned from the Wiki
Let's talk about Tex, let's talk about Tex, let's talk about Tex

Let's talk about Tex, he's word!
When he raised at home had a name like a nerd
They had called him Maurice Woodward
There's no surprise, all eyes, he tried to change his first name
'Cause how else will he get fame?
So he became Tex on the radio and video shows
His film debut--Song Of The Gringo
Grand National Pictures, twelve movies graded 'B'
Made his own cowboy singer flicks, I'm told 40
Capitol Records had made him their choice
So he did "Jingle Jangle Jingle" for a radio hit
Did he stop there folks? No he didn't!
Top 5 Hits--he got seven!

Let's talk about Tex, baby
Let's talk about history
Let's talk about the singing cowboy
What I learned from the Wiki
Let's talk about Tex, let's talk about Tex, let's talk about Tex

Made a spot in country, but not in pop
Made records since the '20s, but never got hot
But came "High Noon (Don't Forsake Me Oh My Darlin')"
The tune was a hit, Oscar trophy callin'
Do-Ro-Thy Fay his betroth-ed
Woman that he adored, she was most uncommon
These mates on the slate sired two greats
Thomas and John (yeah, the guy from Three's Company!)
Sad for Thomas, he had cerebral palsy
So Tex, he put through a charity or two
It seems that Tex survived, was nothing he couldn't do
Tex goes down in history, became an honoree
Got in for free, with glee, Grand Ole Opry
Rappin' 'bout this guy wasn't so bad
Yes, love, it's Tex, why the heck's he's not more well-known?
He deserves a throne!

Let's talk about Tex, baby
Let's talk about history
Let's talk about the singing cowboy
What I learned from the Wiki
Let's talk about Tex, let's talk about Tex, let's talk about Tex

Cowpokes, all the cowpokes--yee-haw now, help me out!
Come on, all the cowpokes, let's talk about Tex--YEE-HAWW!

(Yo Dave, there's no way they would even play this on the radio)
[Below Average Dave: And why not?]
(I mean, even if he didn't write a rap tune about safe sex and female empowerment...
Come on, how many folks you know would care?)