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Song Parodies -> "House of Cards"

Original Song Title:

"House of Love"

Original Performer:

RuPaul

Parody Song Title:

"House of Cards"

Parody Written by:

Blaydeman

The Lyrics

I'm FIERCE!
House of cards!

Chorus: Please don’t make
Please don’t make a sound
Or it could fall down
If it does
If it does I’ll frown

Verse 1: There is a task
I can’t beat
It’s a complex little task I can’t cheat
It’s a house made of cards
In the kitchen to the ceiling, floor to fan
See that deck, now what the heck?
Don’t make a sudden motion or it will wreck
And when things are going smoothly
Looks like a thang of beauty
Take the pic and upload it today
Hey, hey

Chorus: Take the pic
Take the pic right now
‘Fore it hits the ground
And it tumbs
And it tumbles down
House of cards!
And I just
And I just don’t know
If the house will hold
Hope no soft
Hope no soft wind blows

Verse 2: Just stop on by, take a peek
My technique is great
And of great mystique
And when things start getting screwy
I’ll go and start the gluing
Cuz ain’t nothing
Gonna bring down this thang
Hey, hey

Chorus: Gonna make
Gonna make it last
Gotta do it fast
Cuz perils
Cuz perils are vast
House of cards!
Please don’t touch
Please don’t touch that card
What are you, a tard!?
And we worked
And we worked so hard!
House of cards!

Bridge: Oh I hate these cards…
Cuz it is so hard…
Oh I hate these cards…
They’re too hard to guard…
Oh I hate these cards…
In the worst reguards…
One should never start…
To make a house of cards…

House of cards!

Crash, boom, flop
Did you have to knock?!
It was open Jenny!
You wrecked it!
H.O.U.S.E. made of C.A.R.D.’s
Screw this stupid crap!
H.O.U.S.E. made of C.A.R.D.’s
Screw this stupid crap!

Chorus: Imma go
Imma go outside
Into the sunlight
Been inside
Been inside since July
Cards no more!
I won’t play
I won’t play Bullshit
I think it’s bullshit
Won’t play cards
Won’t play cards again
Cards no more!
I got pape
I got paper cuts
Don’t you think that’s nuts?
Do you have
Do you have the guts?
House of Cards!
I dare you
I dare you to try
Makes you wanna cry
Hate’em ‘til
Hate’em ‘til I die
House of cards!
Please rate and comment all you FABULOUS and GORGEOUS people out there! XOXOXOXO

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   3
 1
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - March 11, 2011 - Report this comment
I gotta admit I'm impressed by your turn around time on this one Blaydeman. You like what wrote this right after you learned what the next artist was? Wow! I don't know how you do it.
Blaydeman - March 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks Matty! Sometimes after I get an idea in my head, I can't do anything else until I write. This was a pretty siplistic somg to write to, but still a lot of fun. :)
agrimorfee - March 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Just a first read, will give full commeents later. Wish I had the turnaround ability...it reminds me of my son getting frustrated trying to make toys work in ways they werent made for. :)
Old Man Ribber - March 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Blayde - You definitely ARE playing with a full deck! Good job. ;D
agrimorfee - March 13, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) very likely the first parody ever written on this subject, and written well, with the mounting frustration...spelling out words is always fun to do!
Peter Andersson - March 14, 2011 - Report this comment
I couldn't follow the choruses at all, which was strange since the pacing of the verses are excellent! My bad? (Radio version 1992 on YouTube).
Below Average Dave - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
I am with Peter Andersson on the pacing, I just had a lot of trouble following it, but I love the idea behind the parody
Rex - April 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Fun concept, brings back memories of all the card houses I built as a kid, but nothing like this: http://www.thedesignblog.org/entry/bryan-bergs-card-sculpture-reaches-record-heights/
bobpiecheese - April 07, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Great parody here, B-Man! Definitely a unique topic, and you really pulled it off. I had no trouble with the choruses, they were just fine to me. Oddly, my favourite part was when you referenced Bullsh**, aka the more sweary version of Cheat, hence it being a lot more fun to play. 555 decks of cards for you!
Abbott Skelding - June 24, 2014 - Report this comment
I never thought that I'd read a parody about a house of cards, but you did a really good job with this. I think the last chorus really solidified it, with the "Man, I really need to go outside" feeling. Nice work!
bobpiecheese - July 08, 2014 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!

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