“We’re the Xylophone Players!”

Can’t rock out to our tunes
We’ll play “Under The Sea”
My band’s so sucky, ain’t on MTV
All the cool kids play guitar
Some play the drums as well
We play in mom’s garage… and groan… our lyrics

Can’t get laid
(It sucks balls!)
We’ll pull our mallets out

We’re the Xylophone Players!
Remade “Live And Let Die”
This instrument’s underrated!
(Try! Try! Try! Try!)

We don’t suck ass that much!
When you hear us at your beach
We can’t play Disco, or Hip-Hop, and not Dance
But reggae… we’ll play it… They need band members too

We’re the Xylophone Players!
Played, “American Pie”
Must be intoxicated!
(Wine! Wine! Wine! Wine!)

[Xylophone Solo]

It ain’t guitar!
It ain’t sitar!
Cause it’s better!

(“Lame” shouted in background)
We’re the Xylophone Players!
Playing, “Cry, Baby, Cry”
12 years since we have mated!
(Dry! Dry! Dry! Dry! Dry!)
(The “Lame”s stop)

We’re the Xylophone Players
Rocking, “Eight Miles High”
Our band is always hated
(Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry!)

[Xylophone Finally]