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Song Parodies -> "Xylophone Players"

Original Song Title:

"Dateless Losers"

Original Performer:

Reel Big Fish

Parody Song Title:

"Xylophone Players"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

“We’re the Xylophone Players!”

Can’t rock out to our tunes
We’ll play “Under The Sea”
My band’s so sucky, ain’t on MTV
All the cool kids play guitar
Some play the drums as well
We play in mom’s garage… and groan… our lyrics

Can’t get laid
(It sucks balls!)
We’ll pull our mallets out

We’re the Xylophone Players!
Remade “Live And Let Die”
This instrument’s underrated!
(Try! Try! Try! Try!)

We don’t suck ass that much!
When you hear us at your beach
We can’t play Disco, or Hip-Hop, and not Dance
But reggae… we’ll play it… They need band members too

We’re the Xylophone Players!
Played, “American Pie”
Must be intoxicated!
(Wine! Wine! Wine! Wine!)

[Xylophone Solo]

It ain’t guitar!
It ain’t sitar!
Cause it’s better!

(“Lame” shouted in background)
We’re the Xylophone Players!
Playing, “Cry, Baby, Cry”
12 years since we have mated!
(Dry! Dry! Dry! Dry! Dry!)
(The “Lame”s stop)

We’re the Xylophone Players
Rocking, “Eight Miles High”
Our band is always hated
(Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry!)

[Xylophone Finally]

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - July 11, 2008 - Report this comment
This was an interesting idea, but could have been a lot funnier (best line, though "We pull our mallets out!" ) Pacing of the chorus in the title never worked for me (among other places)
Jason - July 11, 2008 - Report this comment
I used to like playing the xylophone when I was younger, so I can relate to this.
renaldo - July 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Lionel Hampton was the Michael Jordan of the vibra-harp. and like MJ would play with tongue hanging out. Check out the master playing "Flying Home"-
Guy - July 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Matt - I too like the "Mallets" ref. But what has a xylophone ever done to you that you poke such fun at them? Maybe this could be called Die-laphone - but then it wouldn't be elligible for the ABC4X round now would it? Good work for a comp prepared parody. I had to write one just for the "X" round myself. I'm fiving ya.
Jason - July 30, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM-X Yes I know I am not participating this round, but if I did, here is my Comment:

See above comment.
Guy - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
See my above comments. And thanks Jason for voting in this round since there are only four of us to compete. Sure (hint) wish some more of you ABC comp authors would follow Jason's lead. This round deserves more voting rounds than five at this point to make it seem "fair or balanced" - to quote part of a very old comment by Michael Pacholec a long time ago that stuck in my head when he was commenting about his "favorite" news network Fox.

Fine write Matt.
Red Ant - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
No wonder you didn't link the video... I really dug this as a free read, Matt. X-cellent.
Stuart McArthur - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4) "Eight Miles High" maybe, but "Eight Mile Soundtrack" no way, matty - does xylophone beat accordion for daggiest instrument? - although I don't think it would be wise to take either of them to the beach - 555
Invisible Boy - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
As you know, I enjoy linking nerdy musicians and Real Big Fish songs
There's a little bit of mixing xylophones and steel drums here, but I liked the song references.
renaldo...Thanks for mentioning Lionel Hampton. He was a jazz master of the vibraphone, and he, along with Gary Burton, are worth searching for on YouTube.

Matty...not to sound like a jerk, but did you mean "finale" ?
Below Average Dave - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Well Matty, your zest for being in every contest sometimes slips you up a little bit, this one was impressive considering the time frame it had to be completed in, but I can't see this one being really popular as a recording. . .still good job.

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