Spoken intro:

John Candy (that's me, i'm John Candy): Who am i kidding? I'm not alive to be funny anymore. I'm a ghost. Nobody wants to see a ghost. (sighs) I used to love being alive.



I am the late John Candy
A fat comedic god
I starred in Spaceballs and Uncle Buck
I had a heart that was big like my girth.
Now I know exactly who I am
And what was i there for
But i'm not alive no more.

All the things i did on SCTV.
All the great films I've done
Vanish like a snowflake
With the rising of the sun
Never more but a memory
But i've done roles that no man has done before
But i'm not alive no more.

But no, it can't be true
I could be alive if I wanted to
I could come back to life
If I believe I'm alive
Then i'm alive...

Clearly, I'm not alive no more.

Spoken outro:

John Candy (that's me, i'm John Candy): What happened to the John Candy everyone used to know and love? He's gone but not forgotten. I miss being alive, i miss having lots of friends, i miss SCTV, i miss my life, i miss my wife and kids. I miss everything!