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Song Parodies -> "The Offshore Hokey Pokey"

Original Song Title:

"The Hokey Pokey"

Original Performer:

Offshore Sux

Parody Song Title:

"The Offshore Hokey Pokey"

Parody Written by:

Phantom of the OPBRA

The Lyrics

Very true and appropriate Parody song about THE most "over-rated", "boringest", "silliest" and talentless form of racing ever created (and the wealthy, egotistical, wimpy, talentless people who race and officiate them) - "Offshore Powerboat Racing". This was posted on the "Rec.Boats.Power.Racing" Newsgroup recently (and later caused HUGE arguements to errupt). The "Bennie" name that is named is a Mr. Ben Robertson, a famous & very talented Tunnel Boat / Formula One Driver. He tried his hand at racing the Offshore Category recently, and in his very first race (and most of the later ones) he beat Everyone (including the supposed "veterans") AND set world records. This upset the "Offshore die-hards and wannabe's" (how DARE a "non-offshore" person severly spank all the regular offshore drivers in his first year of racing). So in their typical corrupt Offshore fashion, the Offshore Category's Administrators & inspectors made up all sorts of lies and falsehoods. They then accused Ben of cheating (thru their lies) and stripped him of all his awards, prize money, points and speed records. If you guys think NASCAR is corrupt & shows favortism, you should check out these egotistical baffoons who race & officiate in Offshore Powerboat Racing!!!Any way, the Parody IS VERY funny AND the lyrics are quite true & appropriate!! Enjoy!
The Offshore Hokey Pokey .

They pull the throttles up
They push the throttles down
They pull the throttles up
Cause they're balls are like a Pups
They do the Offshore Pokey cause their raceboats can all hold Cups,
That's what their all about!

We think their racings lame
They think their racings cool
We say their racings lame
Cause to win takes just any fool!
They like their offshore pokey cause they makeup their own rules,
That's what their all about!

They do their OOOOFFSHORE POKEY!!
Most think its PREEEETTY HOKEY.
Some say its EEEEEVEN DOPEY!
But HEY!!!
Thats what offshore is all about!

The drivers thought THEY could Fly
Till Reggie gave Bennie a try
Then all the other drivers sighed
Cause Bennie'd drive right by
They'd all then do their Offshore Pokey and make up abunch of lies,
That's what their all about!

They let the Bennie race
Then throw the Bennie out
They again let the Bennie race
Then Protest him all about
They then do their Offshore Pokey cause their EGO'S were indoubt
That's what their all about!!

Later came the World Champ race
And offshore had to save some face,
They must somehow not let Bennie race
As they couldn't keep with Bennie's pace.
So they decide to do their Offshore Pokey and do away with Bennie's Wakes,
That's what their all about!

The truth, most can now plainly see!
The truth for some is hard to see!
The truth, yet others will refuse to see,
Specially when you're a racer WANNABE!
When you do the Offshore Pokey and try to pull some trechery,
That's what everyone's found Offshore is all about!

They do their OOOOOOFSHORE POKEY!!
Most think its PREEEETTY HOKEY.
Some say its EEEEEVEN DOPEY.
But HEY!!!
Thats what their all about!


Phantom of the OPBRA
Truer lyrics have never been written.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Da man - September 30, 2009 - Report this comment
That is not only one of the most hilarious I've read so far, but ironically its also absolutely 100% true!
mike - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
My favorite show is madlibs One time they dove into a pizza and it was awesome and they were wearing red and blue jackets and helmets and they had bricks on and they had 2 tag their next temmate and it was the best show of my life and they were wearing jackets to protect themselves and they had to run inside a big pizza and they had jackets on and the blue team won by getting the last one in
mike - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
my f@vorite show is m@d lib$ 1 time they dove in2 @ pizz@ @nd it w@$ @we$ome @nd they were we@ring red @nd blue j@cket$ @nd helmets @nd they h@d bricks on @nd they had 2 t@g their next temm@te @nd it w@$ the best $how of my life @nd they were wearing j@ckets 2 protect themselves @nd they h@d 2 run inside @ big pizza @nd they had j@cket$ on and the blue te@m won by getting the l@$t 1 in
mike - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
psst
MIKE - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
I REMEMBER I WATCHED A SHOW CALLED MAD LIBS THEY RAN INTO A BIG PIZZA THEY HAD RED AND BLUE JACKETS ON THEY WORE SPONGES ON THEIR HELMETS AND THEY HAD 2 TAG THEIR NEXT PARTNER WHO WOULD DO THE SAME THING THE CROWD WAS CHEERING GO GO GO GO AND THEY HAD COOL DRUM & BA$$ MUSIC AND THEY HAD 2 JACKETS ON
MIKE DAWG - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
I REMEMBER I W@TCHED @ $HOW C@LLED M@D LIB$ THEY R@N INTO @ HUMUNGOU$ PIZZ@ THEY WORE HELMET$ @ND J@CKET$ THEY WORE $PONGE$ ON THEIR HELMET$ AND THEY HAD 2 DIVE INTO @ PIZZ@ THEY RAN OUT OF THE PIZZ@ @ND T@G THEIR TEMM@TE WHO DID THE S@ME THING THEY HAD COOL DRUM & BA$$ MU$IC THE CROWD WAS CHANTING GO GO GO @ND THEY TAGGED THEIR P@RTNER WHO DID THE S@ME THING OF COURSE IF YOU WILL W@TCH M@D LIBS THEN THIS SHOW IS 4 U @nyw@y pe@ce @nd MERRY CHRI$TM@$
MIKE - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
I REMEMBER I W@TCHED @ $HOW C@LLED M@D LIB$ THEY R@N IN2 @ HUMUNGOU$ PIZZ@ THEY ZIPPED UP THEIR J@CKET$ PUT ON THEIR HELMET$ @ND H@D A BL@ST THEY H@D @ COOL TIME THEY R@N OUT OF THE PIZZ@ @ND T@GGED THEIR P@RTNER WHO DID THE S@ME THING THEY H@D COOL DRUM & b@$$ mu$ic the crowd w@$ ch@nting GO GO GO @ND THEY T@GGED THEIR P@RTNER WHO DID THE $@ME THING. OF COUR$E IF U WILL W@TCH M@D LIB$ THEN $HOW IS 4 YOU @NYW@Y I H@VE 2 GO PE@CE MERRY CHRI$TM@$ @ND H@AVE @ H@PPY NEW YE@R C U IN 2011
MIKE - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
I WATCHED MAD LIBS 1ST THEY HAD A MEGASTUNT 2ND THEY DID MADDER THAN YOU 3RD THE TEAMS HEADED BACKSTAGE THEY PUT ON JACKETS AND HELMETS THE SPOTTERS ZIPPED EM UP AND THE TEAMS LINED UP AND THEY HAD A GOOD TIME IN FACT IT WAS COLD SO THEY HAD HEAVY JACKETS ON 3RD THE TEAMS TOOK THEIR HELMETS AND JACKETS OFF THEY HAD A MIXED UP MAD LIB THE RED TEAM WON THEY WENT TO THE MAXIMUM MADLIBS AND WON THE GRAND PRIZE
mike - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
1st they had a game 2nd they did madder than you 3rd they went backstage the $potter$ zipped up their j@cket$ put helmets on they came out ran into a pizza while wearing their helmet$ And j@cket$ it was cold in that show the teams tagged their partners while the audience cheered GET THE WORDDDDDDDDDDDD GET THE FU**ING WORD THE TWO TEAMS HAD TO WEAR HELMET$ @nd j@cket$ 2 protect them$elve$ $o they don't get hurt
mike - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
1st they had a megastunt 2nd they did madder than you 3rd the 2 teams went backstage the spotters put helmets and jackets on they zipped em up they had to wear protective helmets & protective jackets so they don't get hurt
MIKE - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
1ST THEY HAD 2 DO A MEGASTUNT 2ND THEY DID MADDER THAN U 3RD THE TEAMS RAN INTO A PIZZA THEY WORE HEAVY JACKETS & HELMETS THE SPOTTERS ZIPPED EM UP THE TEAMS GOT IN2 POSITION THE TEAMS RAN INTO THE PIZZA @ND THE CROWD CHEERED THEM ON THEY WORE JACKETS WHILE THEY RAN IN THE PIZZ@
Racer X - December 31, 2014 - Report this comment
This is hilarious!! Obviously Offshore and NASCAR has many similarities... LOL
Jason - April 27, 2016 - Report this comment
This is so funny, and at the same time as true as it gets. The writer was a literary genius! Suck it up offshore...
Me - December 11, 2017 - Report this comment
Yup, this pretty much sums up offshore quite well. Nothing but a bunch of rich egotistical no-talent weekend warrior wannabe racers, that has more money than brains. Plus offshore racing is waaaay overrated anyway.
John - November 15, 2018 - Report this comment
This is hilarious, and oh so true. Offshore is indeed way overrated, and those whom partake are typical egotistical rich wannabe's. Well done and kudos to whomever was the author..

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